Sunday, June 28

clear phrases

I could get to like Bollywood.
I wouldn't mind being superimposed.
Like I said they friggen left me here.

"Left alone and taught to fight..."
yeah yeah yeah we know.

Well I gave myself one,
let's see if anyone else does.
Don't worry,
I am not going to track you down and stalk you.

Thank you that makes me feel better,
now lets see if I can go to work,
having been up all night.

I tried not to be a stalker.
I really did.
Something about Suzanne Vega made me go mommy.

I realized I was loosing it sweetheart.
I guess it just happened at the wrong time.

Something about America,
makes us extol all the wrong virtues.

I guess this could be an astronoy coffee house.

It is called Average Inner Blog,
because I developed the phrase Average Inner Thought
using reverse speech.

I am like John Lennon.
I can come up with clear phrases.

It is the only demonstrable paranormal phenomenon,
but I don't recommend fooling around with it.

Just because it doesn't stand up to scientific scrutiny,
doesn't mean it is not a real phenomenon.

It is real.
Anyone that says otherwise is in sheer denial.

Clear phrases are a symptom of information burn.

Excuse me.
Clear repeated phrases are a symptom of information burn.
like "turn me on dead man. turn me on dead man."

Yes I am comparing myself to John Lennon.
It is probably somewhat common among musicians.
Happening to a writer is rare and freakish.

A lot of them start singing to get the voices out of their head.
I don't have to do that.

You wouldn't hear about this from anyone else.
People just don't talk about it.
Talking about it makes it worse.

I have learned how to shut them out.
They don't mess with me too much.

Common sense tells you not to talk about this shit.
What I am doing is against common sense,
but I am a writer.
that is what I do.

Plant a tree.
Talk to the tree.

You are living with lemons.
This aint somebody's sims toy.

happy birthday
wherever you are

here I thought i was cutting edge
what can you expect from a 42 year old.

I like longcat.
I didn't know it was called that.
It has been my wallpaper for years.

I guess they know how to do it now.
watch out.

If you think I did this on purpose,
you are delusional.

If no one has an objection,
this type of writing will be called longcat.

I said I was not divine.
I never said he wasn't.
I said it was superlative and didn't belong.
I seriously doubt John would say that about himself.
but you must have had your reasons.

I know I am not a musical genius like John Lennon,
but I have suffered an information burn just like him.

Its not up to me.
Be prepared to explain yourself.

Hell I am mild.
I went over to /b
people calling each other nigger and faggot

I have been at this for 15 years and I am getting nowhere.
Please stop sitting on me.

They are afraid I will flip out.
They are reading the cache.

Wednesday, June 24

the 80's are dead

it is the 97 shit that is completely unavailable.

You have to bust the averages.
The whole thing goes haywire.

I still have some of the stuff in my journals.
I think Ultraprophylactic is lost.
I stopped keeping a journal.
I felt it was a little narcissistic.

It was about a bet Sigmund Freud made with C. S. Lewis.
It is a shame it is lost.
No one is ever going to believe such a thing was ever written.
I devoted my whole life to it, and now it is lost.

Sigmund Freud said
if God existed when he died
he would come back on April 1st
and rewrite all the great poets having never read them.

Me and Mr. Harris got in an argument about it,
and that started this whole thing.

They know it means God exists.
They are friggen turkeys.

Of course it can't be done,
but somebody tried it.
That is the whole point.

That is the brinkmanship
that is going to keep on going till someone gets hurt.

It does not matter if you are right or wrong.
They are still tasked to treat you.
They have to diagnose you with something,
to tell the insurance company.
They don't pay for teenage ambitions gone haywire.

I went out on a limb,
and got caught by a bunch of turkeys.

If you are not part of a group,
and don't have any proof,
you are schizophrenic.

I don't have any proof,
but I could do 15 a day for a whole month if I wanted to.

If people can have issues about photographs,
I can have issues about my glucometer.

If it is high it is high.
Theres nothing I can do about it anyway.
As long as my A1C's are fine what do you care?

You are talking about people
who want to know if the big bang
is a good explosion or a bad explosion.
Coming up with a number
two or three times a day is not a good thing people.

They think the world exists in a woman's heart.
That sex holds the world together.
That men are superimposed.
They are friggen idiots.

I am hesitant about it and it costs a lot of money.
As long as my a1c's are fine I am not going to worry about it.

Every once in a while I get a sense of how bizarre it must seem.
I have broken some kind of information barrier.

To jump cars on this site, click the comment button.

It makes you bleed.
It causes osmosis.
It is called "information burn".

It is going to be in the DSM-IV before it is all over with.

Information burn I can deal with.
I have problems with schizophrenia.

Atypicals can exasperate the problem.

People using computers,
this is going to happen more often.
I am just trying to understand what the hell is going on.

It happened to a writer because of the word verification.
It is not normal for this to happen to someone like me.

Why was it happening to a writer?
that was the big question.
Nobody knew.

It is the forbidden fruit people.
be careful with it.

I don't think it is all that uncommon.
It is just that I am a writer.
Nobody knew why it was happening to me.

I guess google feels bad.
I aint on yahoo or ask.

I am doing something.
I am a writer.
I write.
That is what I do.

Not to take anything away from the man,
and I know I wasn't always kind,
but his death has brought an end to the 80's
the same way John Lennon's death ended the 60's

They thought I was a spammer.
I guess they did not like what I was doing.
They used word verification on my ass,
and I got scalded.
It is called information burn.

If you are not with a woman, you are a pervert.
That is the way things are nowadays.

Information burn is what happened to Adam and Eve,
for whatever reason.

People loved his music,
but people would like Prince over Michael,
because Prince did not struggle with it.
Somehow it was cool to like Prince.

People really had issues with Michael's sexuality,
or lack thereof.

At one point,
there was a copy of Thriller in practically every household in America.
They played the video every hour on MTV.
I don't know why people turned on him like that.
Being abused myself, I am very sensitive to abuse issues,
but I don't think Michael abused anybody.

I called him a punk,
and I am sorry.
He didn't deserve that.

Fine outstanding citizens,
church goers,
people with a wife and kids molest children.
Just because you struggle with it,
doesn't mean you are molesting people.

Rick James when to prison
for having a sex slave in his basement,
and people don't wail on him like that.

You either struggle with it or you don't,
and it pretty much stays that way.
It is ok to struggle with it.

Struggling with it doesn't mean anything.
Hell my middle school principal
got caught soliciting sex at the mall.
It does not mean anything.

Monday, June 15

the bag lady of the internet

Like I said,
it is better than reading Sitchin.
I should have burnt that shit.

How many are reading their Bibles because of me?
That is the most important part.
Like that lady said,
"The best Bible is a read Bible."

Read the one you have been led to.
You will know which one it is.

I guess I am the bag lady of the internet.

She wants you to think I am a stalker and a control freak,
and I am not.
We ran into each other a few times,
but that does not count.
I am free to go to a concert or a record store.

She probably knows more about where I am,
and what I am doing,
than I know about her.

If I really knew how to make money,
would I drop everything and go to California?
Probably not.

It is just a step to the right,
and a jump to the left left left left left.

Its a dance you do in a black hole.

People thought I was crazy
when I talked about digital radio
and on demand movies.
I wanted to be online
as soon as I knew what Compuserve was.
I had a modem back in 87.
I got it out of Computer Shopper.
America Online was not even around yet.
I miss those days.

I feel like I am going through this for no reason.
I got a little stupid, I am sorry.

I love posting and uploading.
It is wonderful that I can touch thousands of people,
and never leave home.

Finally my websites show up,
and not that soundlink crap.

David999@brigadoon.com is me too.
can you believe that shit is still around?
I am glad I have a blog I can spam now.

I was trying to figure out what the hell was going on.
That damn word verification did a number on me.

I lost everything in 97
my job, my girlfriend, my apartment, my stereo, my credit, my car
my mind was already gone.
the only thing left was the computer and the television.
I signed up with brigadoon, because they did not require credit cards.
I liked to smoke pot and watch mtv.
The internet is magic to us schizos.
If that is what I am.

I blew my mind out in a car.
I didn't notice that the lights had changed.
Now they know
how many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall.
I am truly the wimper.

I don't know, it made me feel normal.
I felt like, this is what most people feel all of the time.
They would play shit in the background,
you only heard when you were stoned.
I rigged my boombox
and I liked to listen to ok computer with the volume really low,
and try to keep breathing.

It started in 95.
They were going to fire me and I flipped out.

I don't know.
My guardian angel took over my life.

I didn't realize I had any authority.

I didn't know they were doing that crap.
I didn't know I had the authority to tell them what to do.

They see these holes too.
They just don't say anything,
because they have grants to worry about.

You don't get money for implications.

There is something developmentally wrong with her.
I think we are looking at a lengthy stay in central state.

Tuesday, June 9

thats right

That is right.
I am unlucky, unworthy, and unholy.
If you can't read the whole thing,
just read John.
If it can save me,
it can save anybody.

It is not the question of whether it is John the disciple or not.
You have a book written by him.
It is a superlative.
It is not needed.

I don't know on who's authority I am saying this.
I think I have a spirit that does this type of thing.

I was caught in the conflict long before I realized what it was,
that is why.
It is a silent conflict that has been going on for centuries,
and it needs to be put to rest,
before this happens to somebody else.

I know you don't like this version of events,
but that is the way it is.
Deal with it.
Put it to rest before this happens to somebody else.

I was caught in the conflict
long before I realized what the conflict was people.
I couldn't be more innocent than that.
I don't want this to happen to anybody else.

Normally this wouldn't happen.
Normally I would be in a catatonic fugue
long before anything like this would happen.
It is the medicine that is doing this.

I know it has helped thousands of people,
but the medicine is a critical component of whats going on.
It cannot be denied.

They figure if you can't prove it,
they can do anything they want.

They feel they have license and mandate to do this to people,
and they don't.

The whole thing is feeding on itself and spiraling out of control.

I am being enabled by the medicine.
I have performed an illegal operation and need to shut down.

That was silly.
That is never going to happen.

I just wanted to scare the shit out of them.

I want to be out from under the thumb of Henrico County Mental Health.
I want to be free to be who I am going to be.

If I am going to be the Antichrist,
let me be the Antichrist,
I am tired of this shit.

It will be finished over and done with.
Either way this aint happening again.
Stop hiding me and keeping me at bay.
Damnit let's roll.

If I don't win its over.
I am a nobody.

Wes is the one that deserves it.
The world has really shit on that guy.

I forgot why we started this shit.
This shit is about Wes.
He has been shit on and I am seeking some justice for the guy.
I would take a 10% cut.

That's okay.
90% of the universe didn't happen.

That's okay.
That was recon.
I know what to do now.

Wes is a better second.
He listens and does what I suggest.

Most schizos are so caught up in themselves,
they wont listen.

I guess I know that I don't know.
It must be a hideous secret.

They are feeding it to me slowly.
I flip out all the time.
They are afraid I will flip out.

Don't worry about me.
If that is the place that is meant for me I will be okay.
Its when you are in the place that isn't meant for you
that there is a problem.

Hell is for Satan's angels.
I don't know why they want to drag people down there.
Why don't they just take the place that is meant for them?

It is full of everything they ever wanted,
and they won't take it.

It is full of everything they ever wanted,
and they insist on taking The Garden of Eden
away from Adam and Eve.
I don't understand it.

It is a very special thing to have a place created for you.
I should not worry about it.

Who cares about blame?
Just take what he gives you and be happy with it.

I’m worried about the bloodbath that’s going to happen if he does get elected again. I’ve been though this before  We may find a comfortable...