Monday, January 25

The compression floor


I get words
I get pictures
I don't always know what they mean.

Scientific minds don't always have that luxury.

I think it scares them.
I don't think they are ready to think that way.

Just because I allow myself to think that way,
Doesn't mean I am mad or delusional.

I believe there is a bizarro world,
And I don't think they have a high opinion of us.

I wanted to be schizophrenic 
I thought it was cool
A lot of the fears I deal with are hers.

If something cannot be compressed,
will that cause errors?

I need to become accustomed to the idea I am not right about everything.

His ways are not my ways.
My thoughts are not his thoughts.
When the rocks start falling, I am going to be praying like everyone else.

Smile and be predictable.

Why do things quantize to begin with?

I shouldn't be expected to prove myself.
I couldn't use it if I created one anyway.

I shouldn't be expected to prove my own existence.
That is wrong.

I have been taught the futility of it.

Because mankind can't handle our own affairs.
It's sad but that's the truth of it.

I understand the argument,
But we can't even do without the bees.
How are we going to do without God?

Would you want a back door on your brain?
That's the whole reason you buy Apple 

It is an extension of yourself,
And should be protected

Making grey goo is not the answer

I am the enemy
Mine comes from math
I am not a music person
I am damaged goods

I have a lot of people who pin their anger at me.

The more they do that the worse it gets,
Cause I don't understand what they are angry about.

I was dealing with issues a lot bigger than if I was gay or not.

I underestimated how serious you were about that crap.

I want to be free to be who I want to be,
But I guess I am not.

It comes at a price.

I lost the simple.
I couldn't get it back.

I can't get it back sweetheart.
It was gone.

People don't get the chance to be Ghandi anymore.
That's nipped in the bud real quick.

You can buy it,
But no one wants it anyway.

We are all wasslers 
And we are supposed to be happy with it.

I am here to suck a big tit, and that's the end of it.
If I think anything different I am angry at women.
Well damnit I guess I am angry then.

I hit the compression floor that's all.
It means I don't mean a damn thing to anybody but myself.

Tuesday, October 27

Rationality and permanence

What is cheating sex?

A pedestrian stepped on a butterfly.

All the music of 77 is just really special for some reason.

It reminds me of lying in front of the console with my Mom,
And going to see Star Wars with my Dad.

Radical Islam will never rule the world in peace.

How do you know something is wrong if it has always been that way?

Here I am bitching about lead,
And vinyl records have lead.

I must have been born desperate.

A championship in many other places,
Would be just another championship.

At VCU it would be much more than that.

How about Styx at the super bowl in Chicago?

Matt and the harmonics 

I don't remember there being 93 different versions no.

Of the coverup,
By the coverup,
For the coverup.


Wednesday, October 21

Potassium permanganate

I understand the John 1:1 debate

I understand the revelation 1:11 debate

God let the GNB be written.

There is a tradition of parsing surrounding the KJV that outsiders do not understand.
That I admittedly do not understand.

For me it is an issue of new wine and old wine

Tuesday, September 22

A domain for the dead

,Nobody wants to be king of the mountain.
It costs too much, and you can't stay there

I may not recognize the truth,
But I am not meaning to deceive anyone.

That there is no magic,
That there is no alchemy,
That is the lie.

There is a difference between resorting to magic to explain something,
And acknowledging it is there

Telling you the truth
Without ushering in the dark ages 

One thing seems certain,
They ain't listening to the carpenters.

The second amendment is about the people's right to revolt,
Not the right to shoot up elementary schools.

I don't think it is understood what would have to be done.

It's not just a 1984 thing
It is a 1963 thing
It makes me hope I am delusional.
That I am making up the absurdity 
E
I want the words to flow
I want my parrot to talk,
Nobody sees the value in It

It's ok to show because he is Palestinian?ff
I don't recall any one else gunned down on television.

In the beginning everything runs in to a wall
And falls off a cliff.

Thursday, September 3

Colorful Geometry


What is the "yet" operation?

.gov is for tourists
I understand why she wanted her own server
It's not .mil

That is the sort of thing you would do in Nobunaga

What is a fantasy fugue?
I don't think they ever took into account what might happen if someone actually did rewire themselves.

I create too many questions,
And I don't answer any.

Did she really have to do it?
Has it really kept me out of trouble?

I don't remember much about 1983.
I tried to become another person but I failed

Beyond the realm of any possibility.

I won't get an accurate portrayal if leave out the ugly parts.

Have they ever said "poo" on American television?

Someone who is always right is not high on my desirable list.

One percent happens
Everyday

Psychiatry doesn't think one percent should change the way they treat people.
They talk about the brain making new connections, but aren't ready when it actually happens.

I have rewired myself, and I don't know if it's for the good or bad.
I don't know that this wasn't the whole problem to begin with.

People go seeking help, but it breaks down their resistance and leads them to the dark side.

What is fourth geometry
What are no boundary vectors

We use imaginary numbers,
Why not fourth geometry

I don't think you can understand 3 until you understand 4

I think things start 4 then deteriorate to 3

What is dark geometry?
or maybe "unexpected geometry"
Or unestablished

Wednesday, July 22

Things Meaningful yet Subjective

You can experience it,
But I don't think you will ever have proof.

I am not the way I see myself am I.

Did Jesus really tell them the rocks would talk?

I hate the term "High functioning"
It makes it sound I could be better if I tried harder.

If you have an event that needs to happen,
You will have a whole line of things that need to happen,
And some of those things may be in cyberspace
Just as they might in a dream
Which gets down to what dreams are

Just because it sounds bizarre,
Doesn't mean its irrational.
They are two separate things.

We are like gasoline
Nobody has found a use for us yet.

I spend a lot of energy staying rational.


"Lithium is believed to have been created by the Big Bang"
Hence "stitched to the bang"

You give lithium to those who are holographic
It's a dose of reality

Relax
I am only half kidding

When you try to understand it,
It gets bizarre.
It's like a warning to stay on your own turf.

God is angry
Somebody needs to step up.
I was in the middle of a vision and they tackled me and didn't let me have it.

You are stupid.
You think you can do a better job?
Responsibility is the worst thing that can happen to you.
Now what are you responsible for?

Sometimes you are better off with the lemons.

You can't fix things anyway.
It takes generations for things to get fixed.

Friday, May 29

The cosmopolitan thing to do

I know why the wall still stands.
And so do they.

Well suspect anyway.

People feel like they can't talk
That they can't make any real decisions.

We are hanging by a thread,
And God has the scissors.

Winners can't begin to understand the rest of us.

I did not consider radio communications 
was an advanced class in psychology.

I think I have "theory of mind" impairment.

If left to their own devices,
People will readily kill one another.

Cognitively I am fine.
It is interaction with other people I have problems with.

America is torn.
America does not believe in itself.
America cannot defend its own interests.
Someone else must stand.

It was the cosmopolitan thing to do

She has something she feels needs to be accomplished and she won't compromise. It would be better if I never said anything.

Why are we so celebrated?
What did we do?
Why were you looking for someone like me to begin with?

It is scary to have conversations with someone who obviously has gaps in their memory.

I am supposed to love all women,
Not just one.
And I am not supposed to go down a list.

I don't know if the music is a blessing or a curse.

You get one shot 
If things go south, go south.
Don't go for the endless second chance.
It never works.

I have to sail through.
I can't let the sirens stop me.

Because mankind has been judged before, and they were unable to tell we had already been given a second chance.


They made the mistake in thinking they would be able to tell.

You don't get any brownie points for backing off,
And ten years is not a long time.

I don't know how long it was.
I just woke up one day and I wasn't brushing my teeth anymore.

Broadcasting energy messed up their atmosphere?



Sunday, April 12

Game impairment

It isthe firewall.
It makes the difference between what's possible and what's not.

Any reasonably bright person would run afoul of it sooner or later.

The only way to know its a firewall is what happens when you do away with it.

Here and there doesn't mean anything without then and now.

It's all about the boundaries.
It begins with a boundary.
It ends with a boundary.
Self is a boundary
Place is a boundary
Life as we know it is a boundary

Sometime you let anger get the best of you and you cross a boundary you didn't mean to cross.
You can't get it back and you are left with a life you cannot fix

What is game impairment?

Part of me doesn't understand the radio is not another person.

That's different from thinking everyone is out to get you.

I thought you were kidding when you said I was autistic.

They were trying to sweep up trouble makers, and I got caught in the net.

Some just cant make what causality does to odds

People don't appreciate how debilitating a game impairment can be.

They record people at atm machines that doesn't get used till someone is robbed.

He comes from nowhere.
He can make himself exist.

I don't know why.
I am just struggling to survive.

What is collective dreaming?

It's probably better chances the brain is simulating reality than a computer simulating a brain



Thursday, February 26

Cardinal Fatigue

Why do I have insight and restraint when other psychos don't?

What is Cardinal Fatigue?

The things that are important can deteriorate.

The brick at the bottom has more stress on it than the brick at the top.
But they are still bricks.

God did not tell Adam and Eve they were going to live happily ever after.

What is a device or media with an obscene amount of information?

The girls just want to dash me on the rocks.

Fine don't believe in reverse speech and magic squares.
I will use them and I will have an advantage you won't use.

Belief in God may start because something is biased and partial about the universe.

Let's be clear.
The phrase "average inner thought" came from reverse speech analysis of something I wrote.
I don't know why other people can't get the results I do.
I think it is something that doesn't easily lend itself to scientific study.
That doesn't mean it should be called pseudo science.

Just because you can't get your parrot to talk,
Doesn't mean parrot's don't talk.
 
Call it parrot talk, I don't mind.
I am going to win out
The parrots don't like trademarks and such.

Toys don't stay at the North Pole forever

I know you don't like me,
But do you have to erase me from history?

I am a real person
I have a real history
I am not trying to break anyone apart
This is who I am

I tried to make this an adult blog, but it did not take.

I was trying to not be the antichrist.

Method for gridlock

Drew Bledsoe was a key player

VCU is a good school
They deserve to be successful 
I want VCU to be successful

I could easily get addicted to basketball 

Maybe the parrots don't feel the need to talk.

It cannot be accepted by some that it is so simple
And that I am more than a normal guy.

He did more for VCU and Richmond than anyone in recent memory
I am sorry to see him leave


Tuesday, January 27

The 12th Planet

Dark time is easy.
Dark time is events that haven't happened

If object permanence is a skill
Then reality is something you must learn.

Reality is a skill I am lacking in.

Why was that so easy to find now?
It wasn't like that before

Anything that sets you apart is a psychiatric condition.

If everything is about sex then why are we here?
We minus well be fruit flies or something.

What a relief.
I thought it was membranes colliding in my head.

I have never seen a more crazy ending in my life!

I didn't do anything immoral or illegal.
I simply expressed my desire for my team to win
In a bizarre superstitious way

Today is national give somebody a truck day.

The biggest symptom of time travel is confusion.

Malcolm XLIX

It is just a way to remember Malcolm Butler's name

I want to make a comment about the "cheating"
But I can't

I have never been officially exonerated
But I did graduate basic
If bad was thought of me
That wouldn't have happened.
😱
It is pac man
It follows me everywhere

Well he won his first
That seems to be a key to future success

What is the one yard line if you can't get stuck on it.

I never wanted my team to win before,
I only wanted them not to lose.

Because people are going to want to know how I know, and saying somebody told me isn't going to be enough.

Riding in a Huey is scary
The one time I was in one I felt for sure I was going to fall out.

I don't consider people care what schizophrenics think.
It is the compulsion to do something that gets them in trouble.

I predicted these buggers
They are playing right into the hand of big brother
They are going to make it impossible to do anything meaningful on the net

The people who crash websites when their darlings don't win.

Reality is the challenge.
Anyone can live in a fantasy world.

They wait until African American history month to play "Birth of a Nation"?





Saturday, January 10

32491

i envy the ability to move on.
I feel like I am stuck.
I feel like I don't have that ability.
I mean how am I supposed to move on.

I guess singlemindedness is good with some things.
For other things it is a disaster

1 + 8 = 9

8 + 16 = 24

24 + 8 = 32

24 + 25 = 49

Math is a good way to jam.

It's not a perfect sequence.
It beats around the bush.

I want to play railroad tycoon with my iPad

Also present, as in Tutankhamun's tomb, were decorative designs featuring the representation of the twelve monkeys, symbolizing the night hours on one of the burial chamber walls. Totally unique to any royal tomb are beautiful bird hunting scenes. The tomb was discovered by Belzoni in 1816.

Read more: http://www.touregypt.net/featurestories/ay.htm#ixzz3P2zJAefk

Please forgive me about what is going on with jasmine
I am not strong enough to confront her and stop her
I do not agree with what she posts


They represent dark time

I felt she did not want me in her life
And it was up to her

I felt something spooky was going on
And I felt she knew something

I don't want to get well
I have had enough
Nobody wants to work with me anyhow

You can't rely on what a person remembers and what they don't
It doesn't work

Hey at least I knew what the Big Bang was.
My doctor asked me if it was a good explosion or a bad one.

We are talking universal lethality,
I shouldn't even be here.

Playing around like that is not a good idea.
I don't know why I feel I have to reinvent the wheel.
Well I do but it's a long story.
I just sometimes feel the powers that be don't name things well.

It's the spelling
And the character development
And the dialog
And the adjectives
And do people on the net really want to read paragraphs anyway?

I wouldn't want to play Tom Brady when he is pissed.

I wonder if they count the counties and skip the cities thinking they are in the county.

Calling you paranoid
Is a bigger fly swatter

Fig leaves are one thing,
Lipstick is a whole different thing

Thursday, December 11

Bubble Wrap

We shouldn't have "wiped our assess with it"
I won't do that again.
I apologize

What is a second?
How do you pictograph time?
The universe expands because time is slowing down?
How would we know?

How can there be a universe without universal time?

It's not dark matter
It's universal time?

Recently I have wondered why Relativity doesn't shatter everything.

I guess you don't need it if you don't have problems with it.

Call it dark time
Would it still perform the same function?

Things are not as fragile as it seems they should be.

It's like the universe has bubble wrap.

If this is lucky, I would hate to see what cursed is like.

I think they should call it The Obama Bowl.

I don't mean to treat the language poorly.
I write this way because of a vision I had.

I guess if I got away with it,
everyone would start doing it,
and there would be a domino effect,
and the language itself would suffer.

1 + 8 = 9
9 + 16 = 25
25 + 24 = 49
49 + 32 = 81

What is a magic ladder?

3 is an explosion,
4 is an implosion.

I can't have an answer for everything.
Sooner or later I had to face up to something.

1 square
Surrounded by 8 squares
Is a total of 9 squares



Saturday, November 15

A Selfish Catalyst

i n f o
n f o i
f o i n
o 1 i 1 n 1 f 1

i n f o
n f o i
o i n f
f 2 o 5 i 3 n 4

i n f o
f o i n
o i n f
n 3 f 4 o 2 i 5

i n f o
f o i n
n f o i
o 4 i 2 n 5 f 3

i n f o
o i n f
n f o i
f 5 o 3 i 4 n 2

i n f o
o i n f
f o i n
n 6 f 6 o 6 i 6

you are right
the original was wrong
i consider it developed mistakes

Wednesday, November 12

lucid absurdity

Nobody  asks if Oklahoma City is small.
I think they do it to piss me off.

I am not sure what I am trying to be right about.

If there is a 12 by 2, and a 3 by 8, there should be a 4 by 6.

I have always said I am not here to be happy,
But if you don't love the world
Everything goes to shit

I know it's a Hail Mary but it ain't on me.

I consider they generally degenerate if not maintained.

Like I said, if you don't love the world it goes to shit.

It may seem simple to you, but it's not to me,
And that doesn't make me a bad person
A train wreck is coming and I can't stop it

They are going to go all in.
They think it would be stupid not to.

I am worried it is going to turn into a financial thing
And that it's going to evaporate.

Why do you know so much?
I want to know what you know.

It's a thrown away Bible for thrown away people.

Psychiatry likes to shotgun.

I care whether it's living or not.
Being authorized means less to me

There is something to this no information
thing, but I think it's the shutout that matters.

I was slow.
If I did my homework I did not have time for anything else.

Giving a shit is pathological.

Everybody needs a narrative.
What makes one narrative better than any other.

People believe a lot of warped shit because they need a narrative.

People know what they need.
I don't have to lead them to it.

They let me publicize the gasoline.
That was a big deal.
Maybe they will mellow out too.

I never had dreams about you and her.
I told you what you wanted to hear.
I believe leaded gasoline caused a mass psychosis.

Just because someone beat you to the punch
Doesn't mean you didn't make the connection yourself

I got lead poisoning from playing in the dirt all the time.


In the presence of this lead issue,
I don't know what to believe and what not.

If you are doing drugs,
you need to consider what you are using them with
A radio antenna might not be the best idea

Blame the individual
Blame the parents
There are no environmental concerns at all

Lead sensitivity has more behind it than childhood immunizations causing autism.

Lead causes a problem wth calcium?
They use lithium instead of calcium because it would be too obvious?

Even if they wanted to say something,
They would lose their position,
And be thrown out of medicine.




Saturday, September 20

Stellar Mediocrity

If it is a condition, it is not a lifestyle.
If it is a lifestyle, it is not a condition.

If it is not a disease
You can't diagnose someone as having it.

I didn't know.

Just stick whatever you want in there,
Because that is what I feel.

Hide behind rules and labels.

It feels it is smarter than us.
It feels it should make decisions, not us.

I guess initial conditions are important.
I was mad at M for being mean to C.
I have never felt it was a big deal.
I guess it was.

I asked God to take it away from me
And I have never felt the same since.

If they are going to make a lasting decision,
It needs to come from congress

I feel embarrassed and stupid

You totally missed it.
it was about why people say "you know" all the time.

 I have earned my ignorance.

They call you delusional
Say you are hallucinating 
Then get mad saying you stole something
It's my head

I need a place where it's ok for me to be celebrate

I apologize for stealing the song

I stopped calling her,
I told the doctor I had schizophrenia
I don't know what else I could have done

I guess they wanted me to have a violent outburst
It is a little difficult to do that when you know it


I was bicycling in that crap

It is all about the chemicals

Megalomania is wishful thinking at this point
I hope I am just out of my head

I have tricked my physiology into thinking I have reproduced

No one ever sees the schizophrenic as a victim.

If it has black spots in it watch out.

The medicine takes you beyond the envelop in a way that is not good.

Quitting the game cold turkey was the hardest thing I ever did,
And I didn't get a trophy for it either.

I feel like doing the right thing was the wrong thing to do.

It is a legitimate grouping and I am not letting go of it.

There is no math to done
It's like saying numbers are even or odd
Except it not numbers its frames
They are hoping it's easy enough someone else will come up with it.

If it is not mine,
Why do I know how to use it?

Strange groupings are at the center of why we are schizophrenics
That does not mean the groupings are delusional.
 
If you don't understand why this would happen
You don't understand my flavor of schizophrenia

Who's reality am I supposed to be in denial about?

HB
I wish I had given more consideration into what we already had.






Monday, July 21

The Last Paradigm

I haven't led her on
She is here because she wants to be here

Set, grouping, whatever we call it, nature is going to decide what it is

They think, if they make a game out of it, it will last longer.

Channeling doesn't lend itself to challenging yourself.

If I could make a real peice of music I would.

This sleek polished stuff is exactly what I am afraid of.

I feel people want me to be exactly what I am trying not to be.

Human relations is scary 
They are not going to rest until they have 120 percent of everybody.
Dissent will be pathological.

Half of them are trying to corner you
And the other half are pissed you are getting away with it.

I consider evolution may have mitochondrial assistance.

nothing exists if you don't believe in it.

they don't want you to know the voices can be pushed out.

I wouldn't get angry if I didn't value your opinion.
One day I am going to wake up and it's going to be too late.
I feel helpless.

Make them spend a lot of time on you.

If I lose control
Then the ball is not in play anymore.

Apparently it is "Eagle Nest" not "Eagle's Nest"
I hate handshakes.
People get hurt.

People think they know what the rules are.
Then people start playing dodgeball
And the whole thing goes nuts.

Don't get addicted to it
Unless you are creating something.

If it's not a positive force in your life,
you are better coping without it.

I feel they want to say addictive and predatory behavior is desirable
And it's not

I am in control.
I have control and you don't like it.
I am the epitome of everything you hate.
And there is not a damn thing
Either of us can do about it.

The sad part?
I wanted you to love me.
That is the sad part.

What is a Turing wash?

I was talking about computer addiction,
But it could apply to that too


What is a code wash?

Being insensitive doesn't require a great deal of effort.

Funny things happen when it matters

You want to know more about these things,
Come gather and consult.

I am a heretic who stumbled upon word verification.

The only thing stellar about mediocrity is the length of it.


Saturday, April 26

Nonsense microwaves

I wouldn't have the title if no one was reading it.

What is digital glow?

The same people who will accept they are only one person
and cannot change anything,
get upset if you tell them they don't matter.

It is a legitimate grouping.
I cannot force you to accept that.

I don't know.
It has some therapeutic value.

What is heat psychology?

Superstition is what happens when the floor drops out.

Until you have been at the center of the whirlwind,
I don't think you can fully understand.

There is a difference between going viral
and bleeding out.

whenever I do get an idea of why it is dangerous
it does not stay in my head very long

I thought I was doing something bold and heroic.

The crime rate went down because we stopped using leaded gasoline.

If I thought I could write a novel I would.




Thursday, December 19

I understand what they are trying to say

but I have to learn things the way everyone else does

the difference is in what i decided to learn

It is not that I want to be in control.
I just don't like being out of control.

Nothing ever goes as planned
and the blame is endless

it is not an office building
the whole wall has to be replaced

if we cant get together
what hope is there for anyone else?

I am sorry for ruining your night
I thought i could sit way in the back and watch
something is wrong with me
I may stop all this

what is fractal relativity?

I thought we were tight.
I felt we were special.
I felt like I lost my family

It means nobody likes me

Saturday, September 14

the hydrogen option

I dont think my life would have had a positive outcome
if it wasn't for my father

what is the best way to combat internet addiction

because the winner is the one who gets stuck with it

there has been a lot of tricksters
that is how they play

it was congress who created these hyper republican districts

its not just a nuclear option
it is a hydrogen option
and I think they are prepared to use it

Washington DC IS Area 51

I wanted a home run so bad I lost the game over it.

I think it is the districts too
but it is racist to say anything about it

there are no rules
it doesn't make sense
and it isn't fair

Two super massive black holes?
Three?

Saturday, June 22

it means "barking dog"

self defense doesn't make you judge jury and executioner

the rights of life liberty and pursuit of happiness trumps everything else.

If he didn't deserve it, it was a violation of his civil rights

they are trying to make a right side wrong side issue out of this

if there is nothing left to calculate
if you are fully known
you minus well be dead

2 is to 5 as 4 is to 24

the worst thing you can do to a loved one is disappear

it is an act of violence to disappear on someone

if we would only live 5 years without them,
is it our civilization or theirs?

The beginnings get lost and no one can ever identify them.

there are some things known only to God.
and even that knowledge will attempt to pluralize itself

nations were baptized by fire one by one
some took longer than others

51 37 25 18 21 27

it is just an identifier don't worry about it

I haven't played a full game in a long time
I have been getting around to it

are you gasible?
is your family gasible?
who decides who is gasible and who is not?

the lack of moral outrage does not bode well for humanity

people were more upset about KAL

maybe they could use pycrete

I’m worried about the bloodbath that’s going to happen if he does get elected again. I’ve been though this before  We may find a comfortable...