in the nexus of a convergence

I will let it be your choice generous.

I must not feel happy.
This is not the place for me to be happy.
Why do you demand this of me?

In the absence of divine authority,
we have imprisoned ourselves.

Only the damned show mercy.

Forgetting is the key to the whole damn thing.

You need to be now for it to work,
and it isn't easy being now.

I am giving the old tests to everybody.
They think they are better
because they understand and you don't.
I would never want to be accused of hiding anything.

They are not interested in the human condition.
They think they are the karma police.

You think you have a monopoly on that sort of thing?
I submit that I had already taken a more stringent test and passed.

What basis in reality does that test even have?

Even if it did happen,
and I can't confirm for myself that it did.

That was Martin Luther's ghost
scaring the shit out of you.

There was a nest that was created,
but someone came along and cowbirded the nest.

The past was uncertain.
That is why the nest was built in the first place.

They don't start at the same place,
they don't end at the same place,
but they share the same road for a while.

As far as schizophrenics go
I am a skeptic

Psychiatry is for trouble makers.

Hardly anything happens
that doesn't contribute to the servitude of humanity anymore.

Am I delusional for thinking that was her?
I think I did well.
What would you have done?

It is easier for you to sit back and say I am delusional,
but it wouldn't be so easy if you were me.

I am pretentious.
I have no regard for anything but myself.

What are you going to do
when you get in the middle of it
and realize you can't?

I remain unconvinced that God can do anything in this matter.

Thanks for sticking your neck out.

Dave needs pictures.
Everybody should make pictures for Dave.

I don't want to write that way.
I like the way I write.

The world line has taken on a new dimension.
Things converge and diverge.
It is called perception.

Many people find themselves in the nexus of a convergence.
I am not sure medication is the best thing for these people.

What is going to happen?
They loose Clozoril?
They don't need it anymore anyway.

Clozaril has kept me in a game
I would be more than willing to lose.

we don't see the world as it is
we see it as our mind allows us to

This world is precious.
It would be selfish of me to do that.

There are 5 people in this world and I am one of them.
We love David.
We keep giving him gifts and he wont use them.
We told him it is not polite but he won't listen.

Let us blur the line so we can tell a story.

This is not about the consequence.
David is the consequence.

David is an answer.
David is a reflection of ourselves.

He has said it before.
We are the ones who need a solution, not him.

Because I don't understand paragraphs,
They seem so arbitrary.

If I didn't have to use people,
I would have done it already.

I am just an obstacle to her.
Someone to be gotten rid of.

She hired pest control to bring me down.

He was a bad shepherd.
It was divine providence.

I thought you wanted a Camaro.

Handshakes and bottlenecks do not mix.

let the actors handle it

There must be something more
if they were willing to let this happen

Why should I?
You are not the most approachable person on earth,

I don't entertain myself with psychiatry.

I don't care that this has never happened before,
this shouldn't happen to anybody.

If I had what I was worth things wouldn't be this way.

Configuration is not enough.
Things need to be made whole.
Things need to be understandable.

The proof paradox

you have to wait for it to find you
you can not force it

What should we do about a government
masquarading as a religion?

They see freedom of religion as a weakness
and they want to expolit it.

If we let them do that,
we will have to admit
something is wrong with the constitution.

I haven't been voting
because I am afraid time will follow me.

It is an insult,
and they know it is an insult,
they are trying to sway opinion.
they know what this shit is for.

if you can't do it if you try,
then don't try just do it.

It can come to you.
It can fall in your lap.

Truth happens because people need it.

demons have no purpose but to make us hungry and afraid.

I know what happened.
but I don't know if that frog is going to sing for anyone else.

I have little concern for rank and privledge.
It is the people I am worried about.

I think she died of a heartache in her sleep.

There is nothing better
than a girl who would run away with you.

I am warning you.
Handshakes are going to break down.

What kind of universe would you live in
if you could prove something like that?

That is what happens when you hang proof around someone's neck.
It causes paradox.

Before the Mud

fall into a book

Arrogance is the closest you can get to infinity.

I had a bad experience
so I romanticized everything.

The universe loves broken hearts.

Will someone please lead me out of this place?

I can't help you are on Narnia's shit list.
Maybe they are the ones who won't leave you alone.

that I don't remember is one explanation.
That it hasn't happened yet is another.
This is what happens
when you attempt to corner the market on misery.

If you can't tell the difference
between what you don't remember
and what hasn't happened yet,
truth is misery.

All these people are dead.
I am trying to teach them how to float,
and they think I am the lifeless one.

I can't help it
if people liked the world better when it was flat.

Reality is not a vacumm.
There are tides and rivers.

There is a lot of mud,
and I don't know if there is a place before the mud.

The Me Diploma

you can't give up on a correlation
it is with you till the end

I don't mean to be any trouble,
but I can't pack my bags
and say I don't want to correlate anymore

It is just going to hang up on somebody else.
It hangs up, deal with it.

The story is making a story
at the same time a story is being told.

There is great consternation that I get away with it.
It is like being mad at Huckleberry Finn,
cause he is in the book and you are not.

I can't do anything cause I trust God.
If I trust God then I should let him take care of it.

I didn't trust God, and I took it into my own hands.
That is exactly what the devil wants you to do.
He knows he can defeat you.

He gave them a magic equation they could all make money on,
and somebody busted it.
I have done enough already.

If we took that kind of know how
and put it into hard science,
we would be on pluto by now.

You don't need a God?
Then be smart enough to manage yourselves

I can cause chaos
but I cant take any directed action

Causing the big bang?
well that is something that is going to be said one day

I reeled it out and reeled it in
and that is what is going to happen.

My game function is screwed up.
They don't consider me one of them.
They want me to live a normal life.

I am some kind of fluke
who didn't come by it deservedly.

I can't do it in real time.
I need to lay there and think about it.

Nowadays its when you don't get press
is when you know something is wrong.

It is where this thing is ending up

this shit is either dangerous
or i am seriously pissing someone off

It doesn't exist except for me.

I am troubled by your philosophy.
I cannot serve two masters.
If this is the way it is then so be it.

Sometimes you end up in hell
because you had to make tough decisions

You read it,
You put it down,
and you don't come back to it until you have forgotten everything

maybe I am acting like I am not Adam.

Maybe they can't sit back and watch
as we waste our potential.

What would you do
if you found the big bang on a planet like this?

Hang in there Generous

It was a brief window,
but it isn't going to stay like that.

Stingy delights in driving me crazy,
she thinks I am stupid.

I find myself with delusions of grandeur for being myself.

I am having problems in this world
because I am not Adam.
I don't know how or why.

Our whole civilization depends on Adam being Adam.

I think they don't know the truth,
but they know what is is like for people to lose it.

Fall out of love with the world,
and it disintegrates into anarchy.

It is about probability.
If you are not born again you are in a transitional state.

we got into an argument
about what was going to happen 25 years out
and she was saying I needed to get help
cause I was going to end up a child molester
and I was like no I am not
and she was like yes you will
you don't know what you will be like 25 years from now
and I was like neither do you
I don't remember it vividly
It is funny something like that can effect your whole life.
They set the whole thing up for me to have a nervous breakdown
that they figured was going to happen anyway
and it caused the big bang

Can I at least be remembered
as the person where psychiatry and physics
ran into each other?

Why wouldn't we be at the center of everything?
Are we not good enough?

people don't remember
the hard drive made microsoft

what is going to happen?
Is time going to stop when we get flung out?

It hasn't happened yet
and they don't know they are us.

HD is a tv
be careful using escalators with those newfangled shoes

I know it is confusing.
I didn't return from where I left at
that doesn't mean I am not real.

We had an intervention didnt we?
Leave me alone, don't bother me.
I am a walking twilight zone
and you are worried about
Just don't talk to me
leave me alone

I apologize
I trust you were attempting to do the right thing
I was having disintegration
I didn't know it could be so literal.

You are going to take this too far
and the door is going to shut on you.
I know where I stand.

This isnt about kids
It is about burning in the event field

Satan doesn't give a crap if you burn in the event field

I had decided to be crazy.
It was an act.
I thought it was cool.
I didn't really think I was Tommy Walker.
I mean I did, but I was detached from it.
I was going to be Chapman or anything.
I knew I had a sensical limit.

I don't love the world.
I don't love myself.
and that is not ok anymore.
It is considered violence.

We are going in reverse without knowing it.
We remain isolated from our greater intellect.

If knowledge portends death,
life is ignorance.

We know our place in the universe.
Human character is denial.

You don't want me to be real.
It makes it easier to shun me.

The whole thing was a marketing gimmick
for the one that owned the machine.

It is called
Rare Obsessional Coherence

Running yzax will make the higgs more observable?

Why not the teenagers are doing it

It isnt the fact they are aliens that concern me
It is balance that concerns me

It is like everything else,
they think if they do it slowly they can get away with it.

dysfunctional afterglow

mistakes are being forced
and I am not doing it.

I imagine a magic bus,
where you have put and unput.

You can't win with these dickheads.
They think they are doing us a favor.

I don't know why I started walking away.

What if the lhc
is beyond the capabilities of the simulation we are in?

What if this is just a ride at disneyworld,
or a university course?

I was suspicious something would happen on May 1st.
I purposefully decided not to act.

I don't know about God,
but something is determined to see us fail in life.

I am stone.
I cannot change.
You keep yourselves by keeping me.

I am sorry.
You should have told me about that earlier.
I can't help you if you won't talk about it.

The simulation busts.
The simulation is designed to be busted.

Mabus stands for magic bus
Some type of computer architecture.

if everything is a simulation
what is a simulation?

That we have survived is evidence that we will survive?

The magic bus is the holy grail of our time.

There is one that keeps on going.
I don't know what else to call him but real.

I agree
it is ridiculous to say it is me
but I keep going and I cant stop

There is something you are missing about the whole thing.

I woke up first.
I played it as if it were a simulation
I played to bust the simulation
before anyone else did.
The universe doesn't care who got published.

I guess I am an oracle now.

I still don't understand.
I guess she did what she felt needed to be done.

This is the dysfunctional afterglow.

They wanted cats screaming
but the spca wounldnt have it

It is about a cat
that took a ride to the fish market every thursday

If what happens here is the same as there
maybe something that happened here did cause the big bang

If clocks slow down,
what about sundials?

I need to leave her alone
she would ruin my life 1000 times
and not think twice about it.

That is not the way it is yet.
We still have time to decide.

There must be many conversations I don't remember.
I know it must be frustrating.

She has a thing.
She sees bad things in people.
She assumes the worst.

It is like shrodinger's cat
The whole sense is being made on things that cannot be observed

You cant put the cat in the box for 25 years
and not have your expectation effect the outcome.

hence it wasnt always like this
you are seeing what you want to see

the minute you set up an inside outside routine
the whole scene changes

I don't know
what was going on changed into a physics experiment

I found a way to replicate
I replicate the whole universe

I just xeroxed the darn thing
I didn't create it.

Hope in Goochland

The only thing that keeps me here
is a lie I make to myself.

They understand.
They just don't want to do it that way.

I found hope in Goochland.
This is hope in Goochland.
I am no longer lost in Goochland.

I saw the guy in purgatory before.

It was shown to me so I would know where I was
when I got there.

It is some kind of barometer.

Hide this from the public and it will be on your head.

There is nothing to friggen fix.
They don't want it to friggen work.

There are no aliens here cause Dave is xenophobic.

Even evildoers
will be seen to have participated in God's plan.

Freedom isn't free.
Free just means you don't cost anything.

Make an illegal U-turn.

My hypothesis is...
My brain has rewired itself into some resemblance of hydrogen.

It is not that unlikely.
This is a can happen.

A fractal collider?

Would 1 over 1 make any more sense?

What would make sense?
How do you know what doesn't make sense
if you don't have an expectation of what would?

Maybe it doesn't matter.
Maybe it is greater than 1 and that is what matters.

The big bang is a blackboard of noise called the noiseboard.

I think this approach will lead to stuff that is doable,
even though some may not agree with it.

He is telling us where to plug in our reverse bias usb.

Why do I see crazy shit like this?

Relativity is called time work.

The time work condition is over unity.

The cookies are just going to pile up
until there is someone to give them to.

because you need time and work to make sense of energy and mass

f=ma is a time work equation e=ir is a time work equation
they are all time work equations
the only thing that can change is time
they think we are stupid
they think we cant see that

division by 0 is time
there is no way to make sense of it without time
time is denominator wait

time is a foolish coward who cant get enough of himself

That is the way the cookie crumbles.
Go feed the birds.

I have had enough of myself.
I want to go home.

Can't beat it with a stick.

Myopic intellectual dysentary

getting you to believe things aren't real
is the first step to murder.
You are better off giving Jesus 2 dollars
and tell him thank you.

I guess it is the only word in their vocabulary
that would signify useless drivel.

I want to believe people understand the issues.
Apparently they don't.

I am the last one fighting for the shit,
you God damn morons.

How can I let go thinking I am the only one?

A woman can't hold it.
It is something only a man can do.

what is a universal mutation?
If it is universal how do you know its a mutation?

We are governed by what MUST happen.
Not what can happen or will happen.

They think they can force me to remember shit that never took place.

I can't see clearly if I did or didn't.

Allison brought it home and I was contemptueos as I recall it.

That is to say
for us
I believe what can happen or will happen
is governed by what must happen.

Now I understand what the free will debate is about.

doesn't anyone else consider it strange the word "must" is used?

You already know! They don't want you to use your friggen brain!

They want us to stay on a treadmill so we stay friggen stupid.

That is why everybody says "You know" all the time.
It is the collective subconcious trying to wake your ass up.

I do believe in a must.
I don't believe everything is written in stone.
and even if it is
it may not be

put the cart before the horse and push.

You got to do the forest first.

Well it aint working the right way

I wanted to feel close to someone.
Things weren't as free as I would of liked.

I guess people need secrets and conflict.

I told you
plant a darn tree and talk to it
you need to talk to it
if you just go around pushing it
its going to push back i guess

Monkey Amplification

The veracity of it does not matter.
I have lost touch with reality and it is never coming back.

Women see patterns men don't readily see.
I guess I am setting off all sorts of alarms.

I know there is something wrong with me
but it doesn't feel that way.
It feels like the whole world has gone nuts.

The powers that be don't want us to think this way
It isn't our job,
so they call it delusional.
Truth is, you can make some valid connections this way.

This is what happens when you fall out of step,
and go for the banana.

Happy birthday.

The only way out of this mess is to avoid it for a while.

It is called a monkey amplifier.

It makes it easier for them to write Moby Dick.

Monkey amplification would imply
denominator reduction
which would imply a variable speed of light
kept in check by monkey mass?

In some species temperature determines sex.

It is not what we think, it is how we think.

It sounds delusional because you don't think that way.

Monkey text is the extraordinary claim.
It doesn't exist.
We all know monkey amplification exists.
but we don't want to admit it.

I foresaw some gizmo for the economy,
and I intentionally threw a wrench in the damn thing.

Sex is the enemy.
Sex is stupid.
Sex is a treadmill to nowhere.

Somebody knows what this thunder is.
They are protecting somebody.

Here I am with this wonderful brain
and I can't use it cause I am a man.
We need to get control of this or its going to ruin us.

What if Buddha was wrong?
What if they sent him back to junior high anyway?

they were the last ones left to piss off I guess.

You can't really change anything.
The only thing you can do is set up an oscillation.

If I were better at kickball, things would be different.

Safe Chickens

I think she did it on purpose.
I think she doesn't like you.

You are going to have to let me go.
You are going to have to make peace with her.

You are going to have to wait your turn
and hope you get it right next time.

I tried to tell you but you wouldn't stop.
It didn't happen until you dug it up.

God doesn't dig.
Don't you think God already knows?
Satan does that crap.

You are screwing up.
You have left me no choice but to avoid you.

Don't you think it is a little weird
that almost every adult in my life
is screwing me over?
Satan is doing this crap.

I don't want to do this.
The one that is going to be completely lost
hasn't done anything.

I am not going to stay in her life
if she doesn't want me there.

I don't want to be like this anymore.

Why did you become involved?
All I get from you is hurt.

Somewhere in there
there is a 17 year old
who is mortified by all of this.
I think that would kill me if I tried it again.

DO RAY ME FA SO LA TEE DO
FA SO LA TEE DO RAY ME

It is a voyage of self discovery
and I am sorry if it is racist and homophobic

This is going to sound crazy
but if I were an economist
I would model a built in cyclic economy
based on solar activity or something natural.

I think we are going to be forced into a built in cycle
and we are going to have to choose
from something arbitrary
or something natural

We need to use things, not people.

If you are going to own a cat,
it shouldn't be beneath you to be the cat.

How many rodents does it take to fill a basketball?

How are you going to fit 42 rodents in a light bulb?
Even a basketball is strecthing it.

Just what we need,
a safe chicken.

I don't think wattage has anything to do with it.

I loat my glasses,
let out some horrible farts,
then found them never realizing I lost the damn things.

These women, they don't see a young child being scalded.
They saw another Mark David Chapman, and they turned on me.

The truth is, there IS nothing beyond your own experience.

There is an individual,
and there is nothing outside that individuals experience.

Everything is hard.
Don't give up on your dreams because it is hard.

I crossed into this netherworld because you ignored me.

I made the mistake of thinking things were easy.

If I knew everything was hard,
I might have taken a different path.

A discipline is a discipline,
and they are all hard.

Don't go into something thinking you can skate.
It never works out that way.

Not only do people resent the fact you are skating,
but you can't control what God throws at you.

When people are struggling for a "C",
and you are settling for zeroes,
they can get pretty mad at you.

Skating isn't allowed.
If you are skating,
God is going to throw something at you.

I wish there was something I could say
to bring you back into my life.
I don't understand how you can deny me.

I will survive without you.
I will remember this denial.

I have already left my mark.
It is not something I worry about.

This drive that I am supposed to have and I don't,
is because it has already happened.

I am going to remember this.

I am willing to forgive because you didn't know.
Well now you know.

I have a life in God that is indelible.
If there needs to be a permanent separation,
I am prepared.

There never was a war sweetheart.
Just fools playing around with sand.

I saw it coming.
I have been fighting that sand shit since 1995.

They paved the way to hell
and sent it to every wal mart in america.

That is what happens when you box somebody in.
They are not subject to the same limitations
of everybody else.

You boxed me in and I took full advantage of it.

I am a self replicating blob.

I guess the good news is I know it.

Lord why are they doing this to me?

The situation is grave please stop.

I didn't write 20 lines of code to screw with your life.
I am sorry.
I am never going to orbit you.

You were right the whole time.
I have anger issues with women.
It was a lose lose situation for me.
Physics is in our lives now
and it is never going to change.

It really gets me that my shit isnt any good without her
and I try and it never gets me anywhere

I was scalded and generally sissified by my grandmother.
You can know me completely.
Are you satisfied now?

I love my grandmother
and I hate to say that about her.
I still don't understand
how that turns me into a self replicating blob.

I have come too far to have it all forgotten.

I guess families have traditions.

I wish I could go on with my life and forget about her,
but she has infected me with this damn radio.
I wish I never went to that damn station.

The women in my life are having a war over me.

I am tired of fooling around with her.
She got what she wanted.
I am prepared to move on and leave her behind.

I don't want to hurt her,
where will she go?

Who cares if men disappear?
If nobody loves them let them go.

I know I need to get out,
but how is that supposed to happen?

I was scalded.
What am I supposed to do about it?
I don't need this crap.
My life is hard enough as it is.

I have to be psychotic to feel anything,
and I cant stay there.

Grandma is right.
Any woman can do what you do.
You are taking advantage of me.