Average Inner Blog

I live in a special little hell. My reward for breaking too many hearts. It wasn't fun and games. For me it was never fun and games. Why dominates my life. I can't settle for love. I want to know why. It is not fun when you can't get over that. What does she know? Why did she turn the music on me? It kills me to listen, but I listen anyway. It is all I have. That and this damn blog. How can I give up on my blog? I want it to mean something. Not paragraph after paragraph of mindless drivel. I write sentences because that is what it is. A sentence, my special little hell. Maybe I can reach the next guy. If I am here to build a wall, lets build a wall. Sentence after sentence. Maybe in the end it will mean something. I am not here to complain. Don't get me wrong. I appreciate what I have been given. Even if it is not what I wanted. Well maybe I need this. Maybe someone else needs it too. Her whole live must revolve around saving me from myself. God what a tragedy. I feel h...

Those damn serpents have been lying to you sweetheart. They know there is only one me. I appreciate what you were trying to do. I might have done the same thing. They think they are winning but they are not. It is exactly like it is supposed to be. They hate me because I consider them a figment of my imagination. They keep trying to get to me, but they can't. So I guess they just settle for ruining my life. I would love to let go but I cant go through that gauntlet again, and there is no guarantee. They thought they could hold the South with a wall, but time flowed around it. You learn. You move on. I appreciate what they were trying to do. I might have done the same thing. Mother Nature doesn't listen. Father Time doesn't care. Mother Nature and Father Time sleep in the same bed. The internet is a big place for whatever can happen will happen. They never learn anything. I could talk to them till I was blue in the face. Whenever you get that mammal thing going, they get pis...

I understand to people who haven't lost touch with reality this stuff is very bizarre, and that is the way it should be. Keep your reality. Cherish your reality. It can be very sad to lose it. Ginger IS helping me. She can't. If she surrendered her reality, it would be like 12 Monkeys. I wish I didn't have to be alone. I understand no one is going to surrender their reality for mine. It is there if anybody wants it. I wish she hadn't kept me on the air. She knows too much. How does she know so much? Sometimes I wish she would make a mistake. What is wrong with making mistakes? If it wasn't for y2k this shit would be over with. Just because I solved y2k doesn't mean I can cram things down people's throat. She doesn't believe me. I don't know what to do. How can I let that happen? How can I surrender that? I can't it is a sworn duty. I wouldn't do it anyway. That is not an as if. I did solve y2k. This shit would be over if I hadn't. I can...