Average Inner Blog

Saturday, December 6

I am sorry Carolina

you stepped into an atheist sinkpit
they do that shit to each other

theres a lot of people...

they think God doesn't see
but he does see
he sees everything

I know there is some good people out there
I feel like they are druging me up and turning me into someone I am not
or have false expectations about me
If this happens again in 2012
its not going to be pretty

you manufactured my ass people!

all of you!
its your fault!
God I hope this turns out ok

why?

cause I had been through enough already
and they put me through even more
I mean damn I was on clozaril
thats last line of defense people
now im on clozaril and geodon and a whole handfull
when are they going to let me go?
I asked them to leave me alone!

this is page one

the main reason for arguments and hatred is people aren't on the same page

if I am here to do an extraction

I minus well do an extraction

the mechanics

"to he who has is given more..."

it is too late to forgive John Lennon

a Shinto rebellion has already started

Friday, December 5

ive had a serious break

i have had a serious break with reality

its hard

its hard to save the game and the people
sometimes its the game or the people

I know better now

I know that its better to pop than snort now
that doesn't mean I am going to stop snorting tomorrow
I dont know how to pop

what do I think?

I think its been done like this in a lot of places
coming in from the future
they don't realize who's way it is

the more I feel bothered

the deeper and deeper I go

just because

they are deep philosophical questions for me

why cant I feel good?

why can't I feel good about myself?
I can't answer these questions

I feel I am stealing from the ether
I don't feel I am communicating, controlled by spirits
or running a program

I am not calling anybody

its bad enough that I am in everybody's dreams
and that i am talking to the radio

oink oink

it just aint my thing
I never did really like it
I started out with the bends