Reality Hurts

there is no grand overreaching conspiracy
it was just the nature of the mathematical space we were living in.

I wrote the prototype for the solution to y2k,
and they want to set up an oscillation,
which means I need to be forgotten.

"No one ever left alive,
nineteen hundred an eighty five..."
I don't know
something horrible happened to them.

David is David,
in the same way,
John is John,
or Peter is Peter,
or Mary is Mary.
Don't you know that?

Lord, that was the worst place I have ever been in.

I know you want to know about my sexuality,
but I cant believe y'all do that shit.

I like soft porn,
and one night stands don't work with me.

Don't get hung up on the real David.
It isn't worth it.
I have a job,
and I am doing a good job.

In reality there is only one.
That is the wackiness of the thing we created.

We messed up.
What should have been the floor,
We made the roof.

Things failed twice.
We blamed it on humanity,
We gave them one more chance,
but there was intervention.
Because it was not their fault.
I don't know how to tell you,
Without insulting people's sensibility.

I have a job.
I am doing a job.

There was one forward,
and an infinity of backward.
We thought it wouldn't matter,
but it does.
The forward is supposed to be the floor.
The backwards are not supposed to be the basements.

It was like the Roanoke colony.
It was a failure.

We built it upside down.
I am sorry.

God comes in to fix stuff like this.
He is a friend to humanity.

It isn't really clear who I was.
I think I was a fellow or something.
An adviser,
someone to bounce ideas off of.
I think somehow I agreed to walk it out,
but that is really really fuzzy.

It matters ok?
That is the only thing that matters.
Don't make that mistake.

The only thing that matters is the forward needs to be the floor.
I am trying to express what I saw in my head.
Time doesn't care but people do.
Maybe it is made up,
but that doesn't matter.
The message is still the same.

I am trying to tell you what I saw without pissing you off.
I know it is heresy.
But there have been a lot of heretics.
Maybe it is someone else's story and they are trying to warn us.
We need to be proper with time.

There are three stories.
The opening to John is a story too.
All you need is John.

There were two that failed,
John was the third.
all you need is John.

Maybe it is my crazy world,
and they are living in it cause they wont turn to God.
Maybe they need something like this.
Too much Hollywood.

I don't understand why the truth of life has to be a gift.
People need truth.
If they don't have it.
They are just going to make it up.
And then we wonder why there is so much heresy out there.

People need answers.
They have had too much Hollywood.
It needs to happen now,
before "The Matrix" becomes cannon.
This not a real person thing is a bad road.

That Matrix, Truman Show, Vanilla Sky shit is dangerous.
Do you want to have wars over who are real people or not?
That is where it is headed.
Would you have any qualms about dropping a bomb on people that weren't real?
It is friggen dangerous I tell you.
Wait, remain calm, and be responsible.
This is the wait, remain calm, and be responsible agenda.
This is recourse for the wait, remain calm, and be responsible agenda.
I have thunder on the left and I need a job.
This is only a job.
I am not a spiritual leader.
I don't want you to go down the bad road.

When I saw babies getting infected with that black shit,
that is when I had to turn it off.

The rappers talk about stuff like this.
This is nothing new to that generation.

I am one of the oldest people that talk about shit like this.

I didn't take off from the rap tree.
I am just as genuine as they are.
That doesn't mean I haven't benefited by being white.
People automatically think blacks are psychopathic.

I am not going to say I started this whole shit,
but me and Ginger splitting didn't help it any.

Somehow it contributed to this male energy that just exploded.

We have had an explosion of male energy over the last 25 years.

I would say it started with Pete,
but I know there are some that would take exception to that.

They said he was having an identity crisis,
and he decided to give us a Who crisis.
or so the story goes.

There is resentment and anger over women.
The psychologists have no need for the ethereal.
They want to break down behavior into basic motivations,
Food, shelter, sex,
and I for one just don't like it.
I want to believe in Jesus.
I want to believe in God.
I don't want to believe I am superimposed.
Nobody does.

Marvin is along the same line.
A lot of people feel it started with him.

You hear it from me.
You have determined I am not a psychopath.

I am listening to you.
I am listening.

Do they want to be with me or not?
Allison was the only one that ever wanted to be with me.

If I hadn't gone down a road I needed to go by myself, we would still be together.
She stayed as long as she could.

Why do I choose Allison over Ginger?
I even wait for Allison.
I know you don't understand that.
Allison went to South Carolina with me.
Without even calling her job.
Ginger wouldn't have done that in a million years.
Ginger wanted me in the hospital before she would even talk to me.
I would have had no kind of life if I had gone to the hospital in 1984.
I thank Ginger.
Without her and Kim I wouldn't have made it through my senior year in High School.
And I think of them every single day.
But it just didn't happen,
and I don't see how it could.

I guess I am into devotion.
I would take 5 years of devotion any day of the week.

Is it ok to be into devotion?
Is that a disorder or something?

True devotion,
there is nothing better.

I guess it is all messed up,
Soft porn,
One night stands that don't work.
True devotion.
I know you want to know what makes me tick.
Am I sick?
Is this wrong?
My mother taught me to wait and be responsible.
Is that not the right thing?
Is that Gay?

I am listening.
I hear you.

God knows,
we could use some wait and be responsible.

Five years of devotion is worth a lifetime of Gingerfied hell.

There is some wait, don't panic, be responsible barrier there.

This is not meant to follow.
This is not an easy road.

I made a reasonable decision,
I chose to wait, not panic, and be responsible.
Some would think I was the best son they ever had.
I am sorry if you see it as being unresponsive.

I am a son first,
and you don't understand that.

You become one,
It does not start out that way.

Of course I would want to be with you,
I made, at the time, what I thought was the right decision.

You wanted it from the get go.
It doesn't happen that way.
At least not with me.

I am sorry if the argument got out of hand,
I am sorry that it is such a big argument.
It was just me and her.
I had no idea it would go this far.

I guess mothers are teaching their children different things.
Some would love to have a teenager that waited, didn't panic, and was responsible.
I guess I chose to be grown up at the wrong time.

Jesus, I chose to be grown up at the wrong time.

I just chose to grow up.
I just chose to grow up sweetheart.

Reality hurts.