whatever it was...

whatever it was
it started on October 1 2008
and ended February 15 2009
something happened on the 15th.

I wish I could wear the uniform again.
I would go to Iraq in a heartbeat.

The only proof I have is what I am capable of.
I don't think this is going to be resolved without conflict.

Moving around in four dimensions does something.
Its an actualization.

I know you think there is no such thing as the real world.
I know you think men that do this are angry at women.
but it has moved beyond that now.
The only proof I have is what I am capable of.
Can brinkmanship cease for a moment?

Maybe I am angry at women
but that doesn't change anything.
I have still done something unallowed.
I praise her.
She could of got me kicked out the program,
but she didn't.
I probably wouldn't have graduated without them.

A program crashes when it does something unallowed.
I am free to do all sorts of unallowed stuff.

It is not just Dave's little world.
Dave has done something unallowed.

Ok I admit it
I have anger and resentment towards women.
I don't know how this shit started.
I just feel like everyone is lying to me.

I have performed an illegal operation.
I need to shut down.
Thou shall not suffer a witch to live.

I don't blame my mother.
I blame the dish detergent and the Clorox.
They have a good 2009
and they don't want me to shut down.

God forbid it be the dish detergent and the Clorox.
Somebody is getting something out of this.
I have performed an illegal operation.
I need to shut down.

They are Newtonian.
They don't understand what I am trying to tell them.
Cause and effect can get mixed up on this medicine,
but they won't listen to me.

What can I do?
I know what it is doing to me,
but they are forcing me to take it.
and I am never going to successfully sue Google.
All I have is this damn blog.
Future generations are going to know who was responsible for this.

Now they want to blame Actifed.

I am sorry.
Cause and effect has gotten screwed up with me.

I have had a fatal error.

I just don't recall anything,
God damn it!

I had all sorts of girl friends.
Then I met her and everything went to hell.

I don't have to do it anymore if I don't want to,
and I like it that way.

I don't know where I got this attitude about sex.
I don't know what I am supposed to do about it.

Other singularities don't go bang.
What made the big bang singularity go bang?

A singularity went bang somewhere people.
There are billions of them and nobody knows why one went bang.
I know people specialize and can't know everything,
but I talk to them about the big bang,
and they are like "Is that a good explosion or a bad explosion."
They have gotten a little ahead of themselves.

They think the world exists inside a woman's heart.
They think sex holds the world together.
They think men created the stars to entertain themselves.
They think men are superimposed.
I am telling you, they are nuts.

They think men that do this are angry at women.
They are going to see me that way forever,
whether I am right or wrong.
There is nothing I can say or do to change their mind.

If you understood better what it is supposed to be used for
you might have a different opinion.

I have freed my mind.
I was backwards.
I am on the other side of that mess now.
If that is being angry at women so be it.

My life has split into before and after.

She was only the third girl I ever asked out.
I knew that summer
if she got away from me it would be a disaster.

I didn't know it was a mountain.

I don't mean to hurt women.
I don't mean to make them cry.
I just don't buy into the same shit everyone else does.

I keep losing them forever and it hurts.