The price of digging

You don't get it.
Anything that can happen has happened.
If it is plausible it is real.
It is plausible that caused the big bang,
therefore it did.

That is the key to being psychotic.
Keep it plausible.

It is plausible I was attacked over y2k
therefore I was.

Somehow I entered into a trippy world,
where I could make anything plausible
into a reality.

It is plausible I have a thing over voting machines
Cause of something that happened to me as a kid,
therefore I do.

I don't know if this holds true for everybody
or just me.

Maybe it is some kind of warning.
Don't dig here it is dangerous.

It is plausible they came to dig here and got stuck.
That is the price you pay for digging.

I guess I came from a place
where people are prepared for this crap.

I have hundreds of homework assignments
I could do at any time.

It is plausible I am not doing my homework,
because I am leaving something intentionally undone,
therefore I am.

I will let the rap stars be the rap stars.

If Johnny aint doing his homework,
he knows more about math than you do.

I guess I am mad at psychiatry
and I am fighting back with physics.

I don't want to talk about it here.
Where I am right now I could cause the very injury we are looking for.

Actors and psychiatrists just don't like each other.

Where I am right now,
if I were to say it might be so and so,
I could make it that person's fault,
when initially they had nothing to do with it.

I think it is clear I have been trained somewhere.

It is impossible to determine initial conditions using psychiatry.

Somebody knows where you are weak and they are fighting you.

I am not fighting you.
If you want me to blame the poor son of a bitch I will,
but initially he may have had nothing to do with it.

I don't know I am telling you,
I guess I am just allergic to diggers.

I don't approve to what is going on around here.
To me sensations and emotions are two separate things.
Maybe I am brain damaged or something.
You think cause I don't feel I don't feel,
When I do feel.
and I don't like what you are trying to do.

You don't want to observe me
because you want me to change
and I am not happy about it.

God isn't happy about it either.

Nobody should do that to somebody.
It is not right.
You don't want to give up some precious little world you had.
Well I am sorry.

You gave me the big bang.

and I contributed it to the body of Christ
it is over with.

You gave it to me by friggen ignoring me you idiots.

The next time someone burns in the hospital
tell them what to do.

I know you didn't want to hurt me.
I didn't know the world was like that.

You can never have enough biomeds.
Hire a dozen of them.

Is it just my blown mind or is the world friggen looney.

This is a gift?
This is complete lunacy.

We can't agree to disagree?
We are locked in some winner take all battle?
My parents relationship isn't like that.

I don't want that.
If that is what you want, make your magic on somebody else.

I don't want to take it away from you if thats what you want,
but it is not what I want.

Apparently the death of Kennedy
forced people to have second thoughts.
I assure you
It didn't mean that.

Blessings don't always come when you expect them.

We live in a free country.
People get to choose if they are Catholic or not.

I apologize.
I had to experience the mysteries for myself.

I apologize for shattering the uneasy peace.

In my opinion
being ignored is the most injurious thing
that ever happened to me.

There is an initial condition there
that has been totally obliterated.

It is not your fault.
You never gave me any reason
for me to fall for you like that.
I have had something world changing happen to me
and synchronicity is freaking me out.

I am renewing Christianity.
I am like a booster shot.

You are the only one that makes me feel.
I wish it could be somebody else.
We don't get along.
I don't know why I am shutting down.

I want to want somebody,
but I don't want constant agitation.

I have anger issues towards women
and I don't know where it comes from.

a new tradition

there are five reasons why
to pass the test you must know all five reasons

I am not going to dictate the reasons
and I am not going to say for or against
I will let yall decide that

I don't know all five
and it is better that I don't
cause I don't want to dictate what they are

I am more interested in starting this tradition
than passing the test.
I am sure there are five in there somewhere.

Of course it is going to happen.
It cannot be stopped.
I just have a real problem feeling good about it.
Hopefully this is part and it is many decades away.
The new generation
wont let it dominate and ruin their life like I did.

I don't think anyone fully appreciates
what the cold war did to people's psychology.

I have gotten addicted to sudoku.
It is easier than minesweeper.
I thought it would be hard, but it is not.
I use triage and elimination.

I minus well have been the guardian of the country.
It is a dark sadistic energy that is attacking me.
I cant afford to have feelings for christ's sake.

You think I am loosing touch with my feelings,
and I am doing it on purpose
and you don't understand why
I am trying to tell you and you aint listening

Can't you see?
It doesn't want us to solve the damn thing.

I am not blaming anybody.
I am just saying it was a dark sadistic energy.

Yes a dark sadistic energy attacked me
because it knew I had the solution to Y2K

I am not saying they used it.
I am saying I wrote it,
and it knew I wrote it,
and it attacked me.

I have been at my post for 25 friggen years.
It is time for me to retire.

I am sorry I blamed England and claimed the whole world
Damnit I did the best I could.

I was in the middle of a damn war with this thing
and I didn't know what it was about.

Getting us to blame each other
is part of the game this thing plays.

The only interest it has
is in stealing what is rightfully ours.

I believe in Christ,
I believe in the resurrection,
but this I know for certain.

Now this goes out to the atheists and agnostics.
There is a dark sadistic energy in the world,
and we know above all else Jesus is our salvation.
Wait, don't panic, be responsible, and read.
Ignore me at your own peril.

I feel I am a millennial figure.
I feel I ought and have the right to say such things.
I feel it is expected of me.

I was just a teenager
who wrote 20 lines of code that changed the world.
I didn't know what was happening to me.

I was there with you, struggling with the mysteries,
and this is what I have to say about it.

Mohammad wasn't here to deal with this sadistic energy.
Moses wasn't here to deal with this sadistic energy.
Only Christ came to deal with it.
And he is our salvation from it.

I can't deal with someone who thinks the worst of everything.
This could have been over many years ago.

Of course I am mad at you.
I told you it was over in 2000 and you didn't believe me.
I had to go through all that Turing test and everything.
For goodness sake
People didn't think I was a real person.

I hope I don't have to choose
which one of you I am going to keep alive.
but if I do
don't think automatically it is going to be you.

God's love is enough for me.
I don't need anymore than that.

I guess I feel if I can convince you something is wrong
you will stop it.
but its not working.

We have had a serious misunderstanding me and you.

I have seen what you are like when you have all the cards,
and I am not happy about it.

I don't know.
It is my way of checking up on people.

I checked up on you and you failed.
You failed big time.

Do you know how many sadistic spirits
I have to deal with on a daily basis?
I don't need it from you.

I am never going to trust God again.
Christ is all I have to hold on to.

I am like a small child that got burned by the stove.
I am terrified of the stove now.

How can I deny her?
She is the only one that friggen passed.

This is not about who I love anymore.
She deserves it.
You don't.

The number was there in plain sight for months.

Cause she is married and the guys name is David
and I don't want to cause any trouble.

For christ's sake Gin
I had to sleep on the darn floor.
More than once even.

I guess what I am trying to say
is that I have found a way to live without you,
and I don't know if I am going to turn back or not.

They blessed the floor of my mind Gin.
They are not happy with me.

I don't know
I think they tried to set up some utopia for Dave
and it's not working.
It's not working Gin.

You have a gift and I am supposed to love you
but its not working.

Cause I had to know
and I was a stubborn dickhead
but that doesn't change anything.

I don't need you sweetheart.
Thanks to this shit I don't need anybody anymore.

I am left feeling it is sick and ridiculous.

Men aren't real
and women are some sort of pattern amplifier

I know how to amplify my own pattern now.

I didn't write those 20 lines of code
cause I was angry with women!
You want to call the cops on me
and I think it is ridiculous.

I love you
I would be happy just to be with you
but you are friggen looney!

I guess some people were just born for God and Country.

Cause the Hopi didn't pass either.
They were doing sadistic shit to people.

That is what Satan does.
That is Satanism.

He thinks stupidity should be painful,
so he plays cruel jokes on people
to get them to stop.
Which is exactly what they were doing.

The President didn't fail anybody.
It is my damn war.
If you don't like it go to Canada.

Look I didn't ask for this mess.
I was practically born in a God and Country position.
It was not of my choosing.

Do you want to go back to situation books and index cards?

If I could step off the stage
and let someone else handle it I would,
but I don't know how to do that.

It is a scary position to find yourself in.
It is not fun.

There is a sense in the world
that if you are not hung on a cross
or fed to the lions
that you are not a martyr
we should have a new sense of martyrdom now.

People are being kept in deep psychological pain.
There are tens of thousands of us.

Following Freud is equivalent to following Marx,
and needs to be confronted.

If you keep doing this it is going to happen again,
and he might not be as congenial as me.

I understand I am a rare exception
and you didn't know about the y2k issue
but it sets a dangerous precedent.

Yes I understand women almost universally win this argument.
It is the brinkmanship that bothers me.

Because I am locked in.
I couldn't even if I wanted to.

Your argument doesn't bother me so much.
It is how far you took it.

You can't judge me.
A world changing thing like that never happened to you.

Yes I must have anger issues with women.
However, I feel the need to confront this issue.

Its assholes and communists.
That is just the way the world is.

In my book, if you follow Freud you are a communist.
I see no difference between the two.

I make no distinction between Marx and Freud.
They have the same motivation and agenda.

It is the motivation for the argument
not the argument itself.
They are for a secular, hedonistic, materialistic world.
I am not.

I had to struggle with the mysteries myself.
I understand the issues now.

It didn't use to be like this.
Peoples patterns are getting weak.

People are going to burn in the event field
if they don't stop.

Jesus catches people so they don't burn in the event field.

Satan doesn't care if you go to the event field or not.

It is something God worries about.
I don't fully understand it either.

There are pink clouds and white clouds
pink clouds burn white ones dont

I think it is about information
getting all your ducks lined up in a row

The white is more challenging than the pink
anybody can do the pink

I mixed the two and Jesus had to play catch.

This is what happens with the pink clouds.
People's patterns get weak
and people burn in the event field.

I told you
I didn't pull the plug right
I broke symmetry

I couldn't figure out which 12 to throw away
So I just threw out any 12

I got caught in the game.
I burnt revelation and went to find hydrogen.
but I didn't pull the plug right
and caused the big bang.

Why do you give me so much hassle.
You never believe anything I say.
Aren't you curious as to why everything is so foreign to me?

Because that is what you are supposed to do
when someone does that to you.

I never said I was God.
I said I caused the big bang.

couch nine

I was feeling the effects of solving y2k
and I didn't know what was going on.
I blamed the girls but it wasn't their fault.

I have been the lynch pin of the whole damn thing for 25 years.

This is what happens when men fix shit.

I am not saying she is wrong,
but she thinks the worst of everything.

If I go down America goes down.
That is just the way it is.
You should know that by now.

I had a dream that my father had a house of many rooms,
and I was upset because my bed wasn't big enough,
and I had to share a room.

People love me.
I could be the most evil person in the world,
and they would still love me.

I don't think God supports everything I have done.
I think he just feels I have been through enough already.

I have dreamt about that house many times.
There are many good people in that house,
but it is not safe to go looking around
for your own room with a big bed.

I am saying that thinking that you deserve such things
is the wrong attitude to have.
You should be happy of where you are
and what you have.

Be thankful and patient and it may be given to you.

I refuse to believe hedonism and materialism
is the way of the world,
and that such is human nature.

Freud is driving the bus,
and yall are all riding on the damn thing.

You don't accept Marx,
Why should you accept Freud?
They had the same agenda.

We are heading headlong into war
over something that is friggen stupid.
Let Christ rebuild the darn temple.

If he said he is going to return,
and you believe he is going to return,
let him rebuild the darn thing.

They want the direct communion with God they used to have
and that age is over.
Sorry but that is the facts.

Only if you believe in Christ
will you ever see those days again.

They put the old wine with the new wine in the same flask
Like they weren't supposed to
Who is to say Revelation is the real thing?

I believe in the book of John.
That is the only one I friggen believe in.

Don't open yourself up to sadistic energies.
It isn't worth it.

I call it the way I see it.
You can't make a home run out of a foul ball.

No wonder I am on couch nine
J.C.!

Christianity wouldn't be what it is without Revelation.
The word needed to be spread.
Apocalyptic literature was the way to do it.
One hand shook the other, and a deal was made.
It still hasn't been fully dealt with.

There is a dark sadistic energy that preys on you
when it thinks you are being stupid.

I must be the most accomplished nobody in the world.

I am sorry about the war.
We cant give them a free base of operations.
It is a national security issue.

They think we depend on evil and superstition.

It is our way of life.
We can only decide to defend it or lose it.

I cant say that I disagree with them,
but that is not an option.

Let me make that clear.
Agreeing with them is not an option.

This is a commie loving pinko fag telling you this people.

It is assholes and communists.
That is the way the world is.
Deal with it.

because I went that route
and it was a tragic mistake.

They think stupidity should be painful,
so they play cruel jokes on people to get them to stop.
That is Satanism,
and I am not happy about it.

I dont buy the story that they hijacked the planes with box cutters.
I suspect psi ops was involved.
and we cant give them a free place to do that shit.

We need to hassle them.
We can't let them stew.

If God says "Yes he is" and "No its not"
That is his decision.