Average Inner Blog

He is letting me do this crazy stuff cause it is over, you stupid jerks Christ's message was not about winning. It was about empathy and tolerance. What do you want? A gold medal that says you are better than everyone else? She was in a groundhog day and didn't think there would be any consequence If you aren't part of the crowd mentality there is something wrong with you. I don't have to cross the Mississippi anymore I can do it right here. I am operating under the assumption we are being averaged. I feel it is my duty to give you headaches. I find it far more plausible that I caused the big bang than that I used to be a musician and can't remember because of ECT If we all got together and tied a big knot these spirits would leave us alone. That is what is going to happen anyway. Some people take great pride in the failure of an individual. The worst part about having schizophrenia is how offensive it is to other people. I shall mourn than. We are in a fight to sta...

I will let it be your choice generous. I must not feel happy. This is not the place for me to be happy. Why do you demand this of me? In the absence of divine authority, we have imprisoned ourselves. Only the damned show mercy. Forgetting is the key to the whole damn thing. You need to be now for it to work, and it isn't easy being now. I am giving the old tests to everybody. They think they are better because they understand and you don't. I would never want to be accused of hiding anything. They are not interested in the human condition. They think they are the karma police. You think you have a monopoly on that sort of thing? I submit that I had already taken a more stringent test and passed. What basis in reality does that test even have? Even if it did happen, and I can't confirm for myself that it did. That was Martin Luther's ghost scaring the shit out of you. There was a nest that was created, but someone came along and cowbirded the nest. The past was uncertain...

we don't see the world as it is we see it as our mind allows us to This world is precious. It would be selfish of me to do that. There are 5 people in this world and I am one of them. We love David. We keep giving him gifts and he wont use them. We told him it is not polite but he won't listen. Let us blur the line so we can tell a story. This is not about the consequence. David is the consequence. David is an answer. David is a reflection of ourselves. He has said it before. We are the ones who need a solution, not him. Because I don't understand paragraphs, They seem so arbitrary. If I didn't have to use people, I would have done it already. I am just an obstacle to her. Someone to be gotten rid of. She hired pest control to bring me down. He was a bad shepherd. It was divine providence. I thought you wanted a Camaro. Handshakes and bottlenecks do not mix. let the actors handle it There must be something more if they were willing to let this happen Why should I? You a...

you have to wait for it to find you you can not force it What should we do about a government masquarading as a religion? They see freedom of religion as a weakness and they want to expolit it. If we let them do that, we will have to admit something is wrong with the constitution. I haven't been voting because I am afraid time will follow me. It is an insult, and they know it is an insult, they are trying to sway opinion. they know what this shit is for. if you can't do it if you try, then don't try just do it. It can come to you. It can fall in your lap. Truth happens because people need it. demons have no purpose but to make us hungry and afraid. I know what happened. but I don't know if that frog is going to sing for anyone else. I have little concern for rank and privledge. It is the people I am worried about. I think she died of a heartache in her sleep. There is nothing better than a girl who would run away with you. I am warning you. Handshakes are going to break...

fall into a book Arrogance is the closest you can get to infinity. I had a bad experience so I romanticized everything. The universe loves broken hearts. Will someone please lead me out of this place? I can't help you are on Narnia's shit list. Maybe they are the ones who won't leave you alone. that I don't remember is one explanation. That it hasn't happened yet is another. This is what happens when you attempt to corner the market on misery. If you can't tell the difference between what you don't remember and what hasn't happened yet, truth is misery. All these people are dead. I am trying to teach them how to float, and they think I am the lifeless one. I can't help it if people liked the world better when it was flat. Reality is not a vacumm. There are tides and rivers. There is a lot of mud, and I don't know if there is a place before the mud.

you can't give up on a correlation it is with you till the end I don't mean to be any trouble, but I can't pack my bags and say I don't want to correlate anymore It is just going to hang up on somebody else. It hangs up, deal with it. The story is making a story at the same time a story is being told. There is great consternation that I get away with it. It is like being mad at Huckleberry Finn, cause he is in the book and you are not. I can't do anything cause I trust God. If I trust God then I should let him take care of it. I didn't trust God, and I took it into my own hands. That is exactly what the devil wants you to do. He knows he can defeat you. He gave them a magic equation they could all make money on, and somebody busted it. I have done enough already. If we took that kind of know how and put it into hard science, we would be on pluto by now. You don't need a God? Then be smart enough to manage yourselves I can cause chaos but I cant take any dire...

we got into an argument about what was going to happen 25 years out and she was saying I needed to get help cause I was going to end up a child molester and I was like no I am not and she was like yes you will you don't know what you will be like 25 years from now and I was like neither do you I don't remember it vividly It is funny something like that can effect your whole life. They set the whole thing up for me to have a nervous breakdown that they figured was going to happen anyway and it caused the big bang Can I at least be remembered as the person where psychiatry and physics ran into each other? Why wouldn't we be at the center of everything? Are we not good enough? people don't remember the hard drive made microsoft what is going to happen? Is time going to stop when we get flung out? It hasn't happened yet and they don't know they are us. HD is a tv be careful using escalators with those newfangled shoes I know it is confusing. I didn't return from...

mistakes are being forced and I am not doing it. I imagine a magic bus, where you have put and unput. You can't win with these dickheads. They think they are doing us a favor. I don't know why I started walking away. What if the lhc is beyond the capabilities of the simulation we are in? What if this is just a ride at disneyworld, or a university course? I was suspicious something would happen on May 1st. I purposefully decided not to act. I don't know about God, but something is determined to see us fail in life. I am stone. I cannot change. You keep yourselves by keeping me. I am sorry. You should have told me about that earlier. I can't help you if you won't talk about it. The simulation busts. The simulation is designed to be busted. Mabus stands for magic bus Some type of computer architecture. if everything is a simulation what is a simulation? That we have survived is evidence that we will survive? The magic bus is the holy grail of our time. There is one tha...

The only thing that keeps me here is a lie I make to myself. They understand. They just don't want to do it that way. I found hope in Goochland. This is hope in Goochland. I am no longer lost in Goochland. I saw the guy in purgatory before. It was shown to me so I would know where I was when I got there. It is some kind of barometer. Hide this from the public and it will be on your head. There is nothing to friggen fix. They don't want it to friggen work. There are no aliens here cause Dave is xenophobic. Even evildoers will be seen to have participated in God's plan. Freedom isn't free. Free just means you don't cost anything. Make an illegal U-turn. My hypothesis is... My brain has rewired itself into some resemblance of hydrogen. It is not that unlikely. This is a can happen. A fractal collider? Would 1 over 1 make any more sense? What would make sense? How do you know what doesn't make sense if you don't have an expectation of what would? Maybe it doesn...

getting you to believe things aren't real is the first step to murder. You are better off giving Jesus 2 dollars and tell him thank you. I guess it is the only word in their vocabulary that would signify useless drivel. I want to believe people understand the issues. Apparently they don't. I am the last one fighting for the shit, you God damn morons. How can I let go thinking I am the only one? A woman can't hold it. It is something only a man can do. what is a universal mutation? If it is universal how do you know its a mutation? We are governed by what MUST happen. Not what can happen or will happen. They think they can force me to remember shit that never took place. I can't see clearly if I did or didn't. Allison brought it home and I was contemptueos as I recall it. That is to say for us I believe what can happen or will happen is governed by what must happen. Now I understand what the free will debate is about. doesn't anyone else consider it strange the w...

The veracity of it does not matter. I have lost touch with reality and it is never coming back. Women see patterns men don't readily see. I guess I am setting off all sorts of alarms. I know there is something wrong with me but it doesn't feel that way. It feels like the whole world has gone nuts. The powers that be don't want us to think this way It isn't our job, so they call it delusional. Truth is, you can make some valid connections this way. This is what happens when you fall out of step, and go for the banana. Happy birthday. The only way out of this mess is to avoid it for a while. It is called a monkey amplifier. It makes it easier for them to write Moby Dick. Monkey amplification would imply denominator reduction which would imply a variable speed of light kept in check by monkey mass? In some species temperature determines sex. It is not what we think, it is how we think. It sounds delusional because you don't think that way. Monkey text is the extraordin...

I think she did it on purpose. I think she doesn't like you. You are going to have to let me go. You are going to have to make peace with her. You are going to have to wait your turn and hope you get it right next time. I tried to tell you but you wouldn't stop. It didn't happen until you dug it up. God doesn't dig. Don't you think God already knows? Satan does that crap. You are screwing up. You have left me no choice but to avoid you. Don't you think it is a little weird that almost every adult in my life is screwing me over? Satan is doing this crap. I don't want to do this. The one that is going to be completely lost hasn't done anything. I am not going to stay in her life if she doesn't want me there. I don't want to be like this anymore. Why did you become involved? All I get from you is hurt. Somewhere in there there is a 17 year old who is mortified by all of this. I think that would kill me if I tried it again. DO RAY ME FA SO LA TEE DO ...

Everything is hard. Don't give up on your dreams because it is hard. I crossed into this netherworld because you ignored me. I made the mistake of thinking things were easy. If I knew everything was hard, I might have taken a different path. A discipline is a discipline, and they are all hard. Don't go into something thinking you can skate. It never works out that way. Not only do people resent the fact you are skating, but you can't control what God throws at you. When people are struggling for a "C", and you are settling for zeroes, they can get pretty mad at you. Skating isn't allowed. If you are skating, God is going to throw something at you. I wish there was something I could say to bring you back into my life. I don't understand how you can deny me. I will survive without you. I will remember this denial. I have already left my mark. It is not something I worry about. This drive that I am supposed to have and I don't, is because it has already h...

You don't get it. Anything that can happen has happened. If it is plausible it is real. It is plausible that caused the big bang, therefore it did. That is the key to being psychotic. Keep it plausible. It is plausible I was attacked over y2k therefore I was. Somehow I entered into a trippy world, where I could make anything plausible into a reality. It is plausible I have a thing over voting machines Cause of something that happened to me as a kid, therefore I do. I don't know if this holds true for everybody or just me. Maybe it is some kind of warning. Don't dig here it is dangerous. It is plausible they came to dig here and got stuck. That is the price you pay for digging. I guess I came from a place where people are prepared for this crap. I have hundreds of homework assignments I could do at any time. It is plausible I am not doing my homework, because I am leaving something intentionally undone, therefore I am. I will let the rap stars be the rap stars. If Johnny ain...

there are five reasons why to pass the test you must know all five reasons I am not going to dictate the reasons and I am not going to say for or against I will let yall decide that I don't know all five and it is better that I don't cause I don't want to dictate what they are I am more interested in starting this tradition than passing the test. I am sure there are five in there somewhere. Of course it is going to happen. It cannot be stopped. I just have a real problem feeling good about it. Hopefully this is part and it is many decades away. The new generation wont let it dominate and ruin their life like I did. I don't think anyone fully appreciates what the cold war did to people's psychology. I have gotten addicted to sudoku. It is easier than minesweeper. I thought it would be hard, but it is not. I use triage and elimination. I minus well have been the guardian of the country. It is a dark sadistic energy that is attacking me. I cant afford to have feelings ...

I was feeling the effects of solving y2k and I didn't know what was going on. I blamed the girls but it wasn't their fault. I have been the lynch pin of the whole damn thing for 25 years. This is what happens when men fix shit. I am not saying she is wrong, but she thinks the worst of everything. If I go down America goes down. That is just the way it is. You should know that by now. I had a dream that my father had a house of many rooms, and I was upset because my bed wasn't big enough, and I had to share a room. People love me. I could be the most evil person in the world, and they would still love me. I don't think God supports everything I have done. I think he just feels I have been through enough already. I have dreamt about that house many times. There are many good people in that house, but it is not safe to go looking around for your own room with a big bed. I am saying that thinking that you deserve such things is the wrong attitude to have. You should be happ...

I am sorry about the war. We cant give them a free base of operations. It is a national security issue. They think we depend on evil and superstition. It is our way of life. We can only decide to defend it or lose it. I cant say that I disagree with them, but that is not an option. Let me make that clear. Agreeing with them is not an option. This is a commie loving pinko fag telling you this people. It is assholes and communists. That is the way the world is. Deal with it. because I went that route and it was a tragic mistake. They think stupidity should be painful, so they play cruel jokes on people to get them to stop. That is Satanism, and I am not happy about it. I dont buy the story that they hijacked the planes with box cutters. I suspect psi ops was involved. and we cant give them a free place to do that shit. We need to hassle them. We can't let them stew. If God says "Yes he is" and "No its not" That is his decision.

they never intended for us to pass that damn eventuality test anyway It was a thing we had to go through before they took over the planet so a great attractor wouldn't happen again basically it means you are responsible for a sizable portion When you pass the test you ge what is called a "name" but we are not supposed to have one we are supposed to be terraforming slave race. They don't talk about the great attractor anymore. I guess I fit mosts definition of gay. I just don't want it like I should. I don't know what is wrong with me. I am just a writer thats all. I know I should give up. I know this is never going to go anywhere. I keep on doing it. I don't want to quit. I have quit too much in my life. Now on top of everything I am scared to death of women. I told you something that made you think I was gay didn't I? Something you heard maybe? Something you approached me about? I don't remember most of that conversation. I know we talked about my...

I haven't posted anything in a while cause I am building my own computer. It was easier than I thought it would be. I don't know what is going on but every time I hit the backspace key twice the darn dvd drive opens up. Have to get out of that habit I guess. I thought mounting the cpu with the grease and everything would be the hard part. That was easy. The hard part was installing the motherboard. I am still not happy with it, If you want it to look professional, which is necessary if you are going to get top dollar for it, I would suggest getting the motherboard installed by a professional. This damn Openoffice writer wants to guess what word I am going to say. I don't like that either. Anyway everything else went without a hitch. I wanted to do a burn in before installing windows, but that is pretty tricky to do. I have a copy of mepis and ubuntu, I am running mepis now, so I booted it with the mepis disk. I went dumb and forgot I needed to run fdisk. So I ...

I guess if you are going after more than presidential knee caps something is wrong with you. For Christ's sake don't solve anything. Let her cover you. They got me on clozaril and geodon and I could still go mad. I know how to do it. It is an observation not a judgment. If my mother wants me to come home I will go home. I needed to be covered. I was in a hurry and running out of time. Something in me knows that by January it would be too late. In case you are not following me the hypothesis is... Solving Y2k put me at odds with women, and that women are holding a secret that deals with the many worlds interpretation. I know that sounds outlandish for people who don't know me. People who know me know something is up, and that is my best explanation. Everybody thinks I skated because of my dad. It wasn't because of my dad. Plenty of people had bigger dads than mine. What can I say? The Air Force didn't let me get away like everyone else did. My dad didn't get me t...