Calm and Fed

I tried. I didn’t want this to happen.  If I had just took a little instruction.

I just wish society had some use for me.

I don’t know about kids though.  You think you can help them but you can’t.  They won’t listen.

My coworkers said I was like working with a child.

I think I was on a cycle. I hope we broke it.

I need a glucometer.

I felt like I was just climbing a mountain, climbing a mountain, climbing a mountain.

I thought one day I would reach a plateau.

When it didn’t happen I just gave up.

Switching to invega from clozaril is affecting my blood sugar

It seems like it’s more coming off the clozaril than going on invega 

Computer operating systems are messy.

You can see all the guts of it.

I think that people’s opinions are being paid for

By agents that don’t wish America the best.

That see democracy as a weekness.

That stand to benefit tremendously if America fails.

What made me not vote for twenty years?

I have already been through this mess.

This is getting old now.

I have had this dream already.

I don’t think the algorithms can tell the difference between the real weather and the fake weather.

Maybe they are testing the weather and arguing about it.

It’s not cheating if you don’t know what you’re doing.

People are either going to learn how to use the internet constructively or they’re not.

Okay, we had a black Democratic president, it’s not the end of the world.

Be thankful we didn’t get Hillary, let’s move on.

I don’t vote Republican, I either vote Democratic, or I don’t vote at all.

They put me in a box and forced me to learn how to use this thing the right way.

What happened to the party that had the patience to overturn Roe v. Wade?

Road kill are the only ones that solve anything.

I like getting myself in a position where it happens because it has to.

And God likes performing miracles, so we fit.

I can’t do it forever, but I might not be able to stop.

God help me.

If you don’t like the SOB don’t vote.

It ain’t the end of the world.

There will be another opportunity.

They don’t give a shit.

They are getting us all worked up because they want to bring down democracy.

People on both sides 

Maybe not the rank and file,

But up at the top, they all have the same agenda.

Fine let the people decide if it doesn’t work,

Don’t make them fight each other like this.

Do you understand the issue people?

Does it work or not?

I’m not captain righteous,

But I’m not Godless.

I assure you, there are Globalists on both sides.

Why don’t I get hate mail?

I tried, I gave it my best.

Maybe I will get some points for trying.

I don’t think anyone else wants to.

Trump isn’t a Globalist?

Come on get real.

Global autocracy is still global.

Follow an elephant or follow a mule.

Don’t follow Trump.

This shit aunt going to feed people in turkey.

I’m looking for a scoreless game that goes into overtime.

I had no idea this music thing was so involving,

People’s heads must be blown all over the place.

From my experience, I think we got cutoff from God somewhere along the line.

It’s not enough to be in key, you have to follow the chords too,

And sometimes you go chromatic and you have no idea what key your in.

Don’t eat anything, drink water, and wait for it to come down.

Maybe a computer can be a glucometer.

It can’t replace God though.

Maybe God will come back

I think we are hardwired to be in communion with God all the time.

I had fun going to Texas.

Even though I hated it there.

People learn the wrong lessons, and think it’s all screwed up.

They just aren’t in communion with God like they are supposed to be.

In my opinion.

The way it happened doesn’t matter to me,

It happened, we have to deal with it.

We have diabetes now.

We could say this did it, or that did it, but that doesn’t change that we have it.

Let God deal with that.

I am worried about how all these people are going to eat.

I guess CNN ain’t part of his algorithm,

Ain’t part of his feedback loop.

We are understanding it together

I wish I could say convincingly that other people can’t do it,

But I can’t.

I tell people I am the only person that can do it but they don’t listen.

Whatever it is I do I don’t know.

I think everyone can use the technology the right way,

I am not talking about that.

It’s this thing about me walking through walls.

He is like a hacker, he can see everything, even if no one is reading it.

Maybe the miracle is the key, but I wouldn’t suggest it.

I need to stop.

I never really played with action figures,

I liked playing in the dirt.

Dig up roots to build highways and shopping malls.

I’ve said that before.

Mom disciplined us because Dad was severely beaten by his father and couldn’t do it.

She didn’t want me to be a bum.

There is no perfect family, you can’t win, it doesn’t help to blame your parents.

I think lead affected me more than they did,

I am trying to be good for something.

I guess I didn’t have the attachment with my mother that the Bible says I am supposed to have.

I don’t know why these Freudians follow the Bible 

Makes no sense to me.

What do families do that don’t have a father.

My ears and memory and stuff aren’t good enough to play the right way.

I can barely remember 8 notes.

I can imagine remembering a dozen songs.

It happened in my minds eye and I wasn’t really there so I can’t say.

I consider, the serpent in the garden, may consider me God.

I am not suppressing anger as much as I am just completely confused.

Routes can sometimes share the same street.

The kings highway might have been there first and other routes later.

It wasn’t a good idea to mix religions.

Hybridization happens, you can’t stop it.

Bring Back The Bills!

I can’t use bing or google to look for the source of an image with my iPad 

Bing goes directly to my camera and doesn’t offer me an upload option

And google has no option at all

If I want to do that I have to use the computer.

There are thousands of movies out there,

But the ones I want to watch are unavailable.

I didn’t know it was so easy to mirror my iPad to Roku.  I was really surprised.

I thought it would be easier with an AppleTV but I guess it’s pretty simple.

It isn’t doing any good sitting in some dark corner.

It is from me and people need it.

Yeah, don’t try to bootstrap the universe.

I guess I am like a red heifer.

I like Don Lemon.

I ain’t crazy about Jake Tapper.

I guess I put people out.

People are like meerkats.

I am not trying to.

I just sift through for some reason.

It’s not fun.

People can’t accept it and get angry about it.

I guess I am supposed to call out to Jesus or someone.

This music thing…

I guess the only thing astonishing is that I said I would do it back in the 80’s.

Dimming your display significantly extends your battery charge.

I didn’t want this to happen, I fought it as hard as I could,

I guess I am just meant to be this way.

I am stupid, they own me.

I think I have been through the worst of being alone.

Everyone is on a treadmill anyway.

I guess I have done the wrong thing in my life.

Trump ain’t Reagan.

No evidence of a bullet.

I guess some people are on a peloton 

My reasoning side told me I was losing it, that I needed to stop.

The central question of my life is whether I need somebody or not.

I don’t know, I ain’t come undone yet.

These evaluations just keep getting worse and worse,

And I don’t know enough to just call out to Jesus or someone.

What do you do when the person isn’t there?

How undone do I have to be?

She was playing Freud games with me,

And I couldn’t get her to stop.

Do I have to be so undone she is calling the police on me?

That ain’t never going to happen.

Not in this lifetime anyway.

I think she found someone to play her games on.

I think I need the wrong person.

When someone isn’t there, it changes things.

In one context it’s ok, but in the other it’s not.

If I play guitar it’s ok?

I like playing GarageBand.

Maybe someday, I don’t know.

I support Ukraine, but what are we going to do 

Take on Russia, China, India, North Korea, Iran, and half the Middle East too?

I think we could have action in Korea 

Action in Taiwan

Action in India 

Action in Palestine 

And action in Europe 

All at the same time.

We have a great military, but can they handle all that at once?

I have to ask myself what could be so earth shattering

They would still cover it up at this point.

What else has been covered up for so long?

Does this have anything to do with that?

I think it’s someone or something we don’t want to get in conflict with.

People haven’t even accepted the truth about time yet,

And the evidence is out there.

You talk more reverse speech after you have mutilated Bibles

This is the brain initiative.

This is part of me.

I am worried this Ukraine stuff is going to boil over bad

I said I won’t going to play until I was 50,

And then I was going to play the computer.

We got int a big discussion about whether a computer was a musical instrument.

The tactile function isn’t there yet.

Is was outrageous at the time. Commodore 64 era.

It used to be, if I wasn’t happy with it, oh well.

It wasn’t that I was happy with everything,

There was just nothing I could do about it.

99 would have been better if I had had an iPad 

Friend had a lover affair, fascination, with hitler

Happened after burning bibles.

People stratify 

I don’t think Hitler was great,

But what makes one nations method of keeping the one percent in power,

Better than another.

If you have free and fair elections it’s okay?

Capitalism doesn’t take advantage of people?

Diet soda makes you crave sugar, eating sugar makes you dehydrated, that makes you drink more soda.

That’s okay?

A lot of major industries are probably that way.

I guess if there are two or three steps involved it’s ok.

As long as the door is open, there is a war going on.

I defended Trump too.

I have the right to be wrong.

We are either going to be ruled by God’s kingdom 

Or we are going to have to close the door someday.

 

News has become entertainment.

I had a good experience with safelite.

I don’t see people hiding in dump trucks,

To get into Russia, China, North Korea, or Iran.

I am going to do stuff 99 style, just GB it.

I almost forgot.

Bring back the Bills!

Weird Problems

If you want cnn on Roku you can’t get it by itself,

You have to either be subscribed to cable,

Or get it with sling or something like that.

If Apple TV would have done it,

It would have been a purchasing point.

NBC news has a free streaming service,

But it’s captions are screwy.

They get piled up and go really fast.

I don’t understand.

Why would you need to stream cnn with Roku if you have cable.

They need to spell it out on the internet.

I guess there ain’t a lot of people watching cnn on sling and roku with the captions on.

I watch cnn listening to music with the captions on.

I am not really happy with the captions on Roku sling and cnn.

It starts out ok, but then it goes to one line instead of two,

And it gets too fast.

I guess with this roku, if I want to watch captions, it’s Fox News.

I don’t know, they aren’t easy to read either.

I wouldn’t suggest Roku if you want to watch captions.

The captions were a lot better on Fios 

It is fine when you first start watching,

Then it’s screwy after you have watched it for an hour or two.

The interest rate goes up and down,

But if prices go up they seem to stay that way.

The captions have gotten better.

Ok so now it’s screwing up again.

Fios is better than Roku with Sling

But it’s not 150 dollars better.

If all you are going to do is watch news channels,

I would go with sling.

It seems the longer you have the service the price should go down.

But it is exactly the opposite.

I think messenger is easier to use with iPad 

It is easier to type, and it is easier to scroll up.

I don’t like android.

I have to use my iPad to figure out how to use it.

It has an ugly bar I can’t get rid of.

Quitting apps is awkward.

Settings is a lot better on the iPad.

I couldn’t see spending a lot of money for something I hardly use.

I use it for times society expects you to have an app.

A lot of times they port something to an iPad and for whatever reason it doesn’t work.

I run into that all the time.

I guess I will have a cheap computer, and a cheap android, to do what iPad won’t.

It is a shame it can’t stand alone.

It will get there one day.

I think Putin has read too many head operas.

It would be nice to break the internet.

I really don’t like lugging a phone around.

I can’t turn the roku off without turning the tv off 

And if I use the tv remote to turn the tv on the roku comes on.

You don’t want to stream stuff you ain’t watching.

I guess I should be grateful I haven’t really been trolled.

Now cnn has no captions at all.

I guess someone doesn’t want me watching cnn.

The thoughts told me there had been a war in heaven,

And because of that war a causal string was broke, and part of the universe collapsed.

So a decree was made that before any place could be taken over a test had to be done.

I consider that was just a ruse to get me to do what they wanted me to do.

Nobody wants to be the boot sector, it gets pushed on the new guy.

I think it is common for cold wars to lead to this problem.

The grass is always greener.

I wasn’t intentionally trying to groundhog anybody.

I was just trying to save the planet.

It made me laugh, it made me dance, I wouldn’t mind more like that.

I am sorry Coolio died, my condolences

They don’t want me to be recognized,

They are determined to undo me..

I am glad I got the Ethernet one.

I wonder if wireless transmission of energy would damage the atmosphere.

I do have a tendency to arrange things really tight.

Yes I actually thought I could win.

It was like Thor drinking the ocean.

It wasn’t enough for me to follow someone.

I had to experience it for myself.

I am learning what to do if that happens again.

God and Christ purchased us,

There is no need for a test like that.

Reverence and prayer is the only thing that works if that happens.

It was a senseless achievement.

My mandalas and music may help people,

But it isn’t meant as a permanent solution.

I am convinced similar is already being done.

I guess there are some that want things to be loopy I guess.

It is silly, it ain’t fun.

That’s what happens when you reject the Bible.

The Bible is the permanent solution to things being loopy.

I am not here to be quoted,

But that’s my observation.

They want things to be loopy,

They want you in a paradox you cannot get out of,

And the only solution is Jesus Christ.

And I am not trying to be religious,

That’s just the way things are.

We are supposed to be God’s crowning glory.

We are supposed to be above all this madness.

We are supposed to be a creation.

Not a causality loop.

You need to create.

Creation is good for everybody.

It matters little if it ain’t no good,

Just create something.

Make a new board game or something.

If it has an objective, it is because someone made it that way.

A deck of cards doesn’t really have an objective,

But you can play them that way.

I don’t know why I feel the need to be in the movie.

You can’t be in the movie and play this game forever.

When I have these dreams, I would avoid the movie if I could,

But it always seems to find me.

People are critical, but what would you do if the movie kept finding you?

I mean, I am going to be in the movie whether I like it or not.

I didn’t like the spotlight,  I tried to get out of it and be a regular Joe,

But it found me anyway.  It is all I can do to keep my head above water.

I am not saying you should be able to do whatever,

But things should be safe.

A reasonable expectation of safety.

I keep getting an HDCP error, I replug the HDMI cable and it goes away.

I constantly run into weird problems.

If you set sling to low quality, remember to set it back to auto before you turn it off.

Sept. Paragraphs

     I guess maybe it is time for me to sit down and type a couple paragraphs.  I like the one or two sentences at a time.  I think it is easier to read, physically.  Maybe a little harder to comprehend.  This is not Twitter though it is a blog.  

    My mother passed away back in 2020.  I feel she failed to thrive because of Covid restrictions.  It was difficult to have her pass and not being able to be there.  Thankfully she did not end up in a refrigerated trailer.

    My father passed away in June.  He suffered a mild stroke in May but never fully recovered.  The doctor said it was in a bad place.  It is a new world now with both of them gone.  Dad left me his car.  It is worth more than any car I have ever owned.  That is just stuff though.  I would rather have Dad.

    I cannot say my community has suffered terribly from Covid.  The weather here has not been all that bad.  We still have clean water.  Food prices are really high though.  It has affected the food that I buy.  With gas prices, I cannot afford to drive around the city going to thrift stores every day.  

    My friend Mike and his wife Pam both caught Covid.  Pam does my laundry, and cooks for me sometimes.  I told them to get vaccinated, but they did not listen. They had it for about a week.  They have both tested negative but have lingering symptoms.   I am fully vaccinated and boosted and have not gotten sick, that I have noticed. 

    Mostly I have been watching CNN.  I like that it is live.  I watch it with the captions on while listening to music I create.  I listen to the music until I get tired of it then I make something new.  Maybe I should not listen to my own music, but it does not make me paranoid.  At least not in the same way.  I know now that there is so much information that gets shared reversely.  People do not appreciate that yet.

    It irritates me that sometimes my blog comes up in google by its title, and sometimes it doesn't.  My picture blog has not exactly soared either.  Well, that is what is going on in my life. Maybe I will do this a little more often.  Transition into a normal blog. I think if the blog is going to survive, that is what I need to do.  Have a good one.

Baltic Avenue

I guess if I can’t play with my guitar friend, I can’t play with you.

My skills seem to be in production.

You just cut and paste,

And you find what works and what doesn’t.

It is just a testament to how hard it is,

To come up with something that hasn’t been used before.

Contrary to popular belief,

It doesn’t happen in 15 minutes.

I probably play something 100 times before I am satisfied with it.

I could just use the loops out of the box,

But I want to put my mark on it.

It is best to rise from the friggen ashes.

It seems to be fashionable to believe in conspiracy theories,

I would fit right in if I was going through my stuff nowadays.

They will get tired of it.

I guess they feel they don’t have any power.

It is the ones 10 or 15 years younger than me,

The ones that burnt down Woodstock.

I hope they channel it and be constructive.

People are going to vote for him just because.

I tried to be Q. Nobody followed me.

It would be nice to have a third choice.

I went through that non voting thing.

I don’t know what it means to justify imaginary time…

Make it so it’s not in the matrix anymore.

You won’t know till it comes down to it.

Some of these Biden people look thrilled.

My condolences, she was well loved, even in America.

As unkind as the internet is,

It is amazing I don’t get messed with more.

It would be nice to have tons of traffic,

But this iPad has saved my life.

You can’t fill your battery up in 3 minutes 

Apple Loops are nice, but they don’t do a large range of emotion.

I spent too much time alone.

I like D minor,  it isn’t as harsh as A minor or E minor.

I freaked out over the 2000 election,

And it was 16 years before that stuff actually happened.

Excuse me 20 years.

It is going to have to accommodate different moods if it is going to catch on.

All it is going to take is one person to break out,

Then everyone is going to want to do it.

I am mindful that I tried to be Q too.

I will be 70 years old by then anyway.

It is funny how in some ways I am still a child,

And in others I am 20 years ahead.

How can anyone be happy?

It is insane to be happy.

When it gets to the point where you can’t even take a shit without a phone,

Maybe people will wake up.

I think I can start worrying about my tone now.

Using distortion on everything is a bit much.

Busting for stuff that ain’t never going to happen.

I don’t get blisters, but my thumb gets jammed.

You can’t do anything without a phone.

I tried to set up my router with my iPad 

Couldn’t be done.

If something happens and the phones stop working 

It is going to be a disaster 

You should be able to go to the website, get the number, and apply it to your bill,

But it doesn’t work that way, they always want to sell you something.

They have their own people doing their own thing and don’t recognize it.

I don’t like phones

Even when someone calls, it’s like hey what you want, goodbye.

You are going to need an app to brush your teeth.

Just because hurt people hurt people doesn’t mean you should hurt hurt people.

You are just serving their purpose.

You are just doing what they want you to do.

They are 10 steps ahead of you.

If you do misstep you lose.

Losing is part of the game.

You could save the world, but in the end you served their purpose.

You can’t really win without losing,

The only thing you can do is set your own objectives.

Don’t let other people set your objectives,

If you do you have already lost.

If your objective is Baltic Avenue, and your happy with it, what do you care?

It is the money that makes people stupid.

They put him in office because he frazzles the people in power.

And the more frazzled people get the more popular he is going to become.

They don’t really care what his politics are.

They like him cause he sticks it to people.

iPad is the best tablet, and everyone knows it,

But there are people who wouldn’t have one just because it’s Apple.

I am debating whether to get a Roku or an Apple TV,

And having been around a while,

I have trepidation of buying a device with 1% market share.

Cause I know there is going to be stuff I can’t have or do,

Because I have a 1% device.

But even if Apple bought Roku,

There would still be people who wouldn’t buy it.

Some people who really don’t like Apple.

Trump is not a 1% device.

He is mainstream, whether we like it or not.

There are people who don’t really care what the constitution says.

Just like people don’t care what the Bible says.

Sometimes politics is about what you ignore.

I guess they were kids frustrated the school only had Apple.

Trump is mainstream Republican whether we like him or not,

Even if he is indicted he is still going to be mainstream.

If we put him in prison, he will be a political pariah.

I don’t see people turning on Trump any time soon.

They ain’t going to turn on him like they did Nixon.

It just ain’t happening.

There is crowd theory involved in this stuff.

I am not trying to defend Trump.

I am just telling it like it is.

He is going to be Navalny.

No tradition instituted among men has lasted forever.

We would have to be ancient Egypt to survive this stuff.

Is the American tradition going to survive or not?

We need to find some common ground, or it is not going to.

You are the one that came here.

If you don’t like my opinion, don’t come.

If democracy fails in America its going to be like socialism,

People are going to say it doesn’t work.

There are hundreds of conspiracy theories out there,

Why is Q so special?

He was engineered, he is like Coca Cola.

I am here.  I am a real person.  You can see my shit going back 20 years.

I ain’t trying to hoodwink nobody.

If you don’t think there is no conspiracy to the conspiracy,

You need to wake up.

Voices are not your friends,

They will put you through shit and tell you shit,

Just to have you do what they want you to do.

And you can know and still not be able to do anything about it.

If you can’t see his shit going back 20 years,

Don’t listen to him.

We are all manipulated.

It is the nature of our existence.

You can’t avoid being manipulated.

Even phd’s get manipulated.

There is a part of it in everybody.

Can you imagine what iPads are going to be 20 years from now?

Somebody had to do it, and they didn’t want to do it, so they got me to do it.

Out Of Balance

I guess there is a difference between loving yourself,

And being in love with yourself.

I am confused about that Kansas ballot,

I am not sure what yes or no means either.

People may have played it safe and voted no.

If I told you it represented quantum particles,

Would you believe me?

It is never perfect,

There is always flaws,

The trick is knowing what the flaws are.

You can’t really call them flaws,

Because if the flaws didn’t happen,

We wouldn’t be here.

They are certainly not just going to accept what I tell them,

It will be decades or longer for them to understand this.

I consider the knots may be tied locally,

But together they form a blanket.

Instead of stripping the information,

And finding the fundamental laws,

You start with no information to begin with.

I guess there must be some that appreciate and understand.

If we don’t come together and do something,

Ain’t nobody going to have to worry about nothing.

We will be extinct.

The world is too effing small

To worry about who is the government,

Of effing Formosa.

It’s just a gd island for Christ’s sake.

Making it through the next century 

Is going to take cooperation on a massive scale,

And it doesn’t seem people are taking it seriously.

Honestly, people all over the northern hemisphere are dying from record heat,

And they are worried about Chinese Taipei.

Everything I worked so hard for,

Just isn’t going to happen.

I had faith that people would come together,

But I guess it’s a pipe dream.

Navigation strategies may not work for everything.

Just kicking the can.

You think eventually you will have smooth sailing,

But the squalls keep getting bigger and bigger.

There are so many lies and conspiracy theories out there,

When someone tells the truth,

It is just another lie.

It isn’t my fault some recognized it as a navigation strategy,

And some didn’t.

It gets me when it is a real thing and someone has already named it.

I don’t think this blog is going to be up much longer.

Every time I make a link stuff gets highlighted or the color changes

I don’t know what is up.

I wouldn’t put it past him

To take an insurance policy with him.

It seems the keys for hip hop are a minor and e minor.

Just because it is real news, don’t mean it ain’t chaff.

Average Inner Blog isn’t listed on google anymore.

If there was extraterrestrial intervention,

Things would be severely out of balance.

I like the way bing responds to questions.

He gets excited if you ask good questions.

It is listed again thx.

My fifteen minutes might be over,

But I appreciate still being listed.

I understand it’s probably not going to last forever,

Especially if I keep making people mad at me.

Most of my documented traffic is me,

And I don’t get much from bing or google anymore.

Nobody wants to say it,

But I wouldn’t put it past him to take an insurance policy to Mar-A-Lago

“So we take all the garbage,

And eat with wooden spoons,

And think we get the message,

And hope we vote real soon.”

It seems easier to do the heavy stuff.

Maybe we will get lucky and she will run as an independent.

I did my part.  I bought a new iPad at Target.

There is a difference between an election that mostly takes place on a specific day,

And one that takes place over several weeks.

It would be more difficult to employ a navigation strategy for a specific day.

It is like the difference between the World Series and the Super Bowl

I don’t think there was anything rigged or crooked,

I think it was above board and legal all the way.

If the republicans don’t like it they need to change the law.

Did they y2k the election?

I mean there is no evidence for y2k either.

How did y2k get solved?  Why was it a big nothing?

Not necessarily time travel,

Just knowing you aren’t on the same page and coordinating.

Just because it is providence, doesn’t mean you didn’t hurt nobody.

If there are other dimensions,

An adopted person could have a completely different name, parents, and everything.

If that providence doesn’t happen, where are we going to be?

I think we are stuck here.

I think people are worrying themselves sick.

I think it is the end time, but no one wants to talk about it.

I am standing in the median with a sign.

I felt like a bad thing was about to happen.

And that’s what needed to be done.

Where are apartment dwellers going to charge their cars?

I can’t even trust I am going to get my deliveries.

What about people who park on the street?

Who is going to wire all the parking lots?

What is the security going to be?

What if you spend the night at a friends house?

What if you go on a day trip somewhere?

People are going to be driving around in 50 year old cars.

I don’t think the infrastructure is there yet,

But I guess there is a carbon crisis and we need to do something.

I sound like a weird person when I write,

But I am not all ego.

I like the old stuff,

But it doesn’t get any traffic, and I don’t know what to call it.

There is going to be a nuclear incident in Ukraine, you know that right?

Get ready we are at the top of the chain.

Only a miracle can save us now.

I thought I could stop it.

I have done everything I can do.

It is just making the ride bigger.

They say Putin has changed.

I guess he is angry about something.

If Trump returns to the White House he returns to the White House.

I guess the people will have spoken.

She thinks I am all ego, and I am not.

I am as right as anybody else is nowadays.

Look who we had in the White House for Pete’s sake.

Talk about all ego.

I think if anything I am weird because I keep it under control.

People just don’t want me in their life.

65 percent of people don’t want to work with a schizophrenic.

I know all schizophrenics want to prove they aren’t,

But my hallucinations aren’t so hallucinatory,

And my delusions aren’t so delusional.

I argued with them for years that my thunder wasn’t a hallucination,

That it was a muscle in my head.

Now we know it is.

Paranoia is my biggest thing.

I will admit that.

But I think people know and they mess with me on purpose.

I don’t know, they think it is ugly and funny.

Just because I am paranoid, doesn’t make me a narcissist.

The thunder made me that way.

That and being adopted.

I don’t know what it is I am supposed to see.

If there is a solution, and they hold it back, it is their fault, not yours.

If there is a song that would bring you out of it,

And they wouldn’t let you hear it,

It’s on them.

I don’t know why I called it Dry.

There is a musician hanging over me.

I think IPad and GarageBand have the potential to be the Roland 808 of our times.

By the time I wrote that subroutine,

We weren’t on the same page anymore, it was over with.

I am going to have to sit down with it and study where the notes are.

I am not going to learn guitar by ear.

I don’t know why people feel they need to be that way with me.

Why Covid now?

Why not 50 years ago?

Comfortable Place In Purgatory

There really is one that keeps going

And I am not sure I want to be that one anymore.

It is going to keep me out of heaven.

I guess I am still a kid.

I may put $5 down once a month or so.

It isn’t worth spending a lot of money.

Some people see this meerkat stuff, and others don’t.

I am not going to force it. If it comes it comes.

I have a rasp in my voice that comes from not using it.

I guess I will just make music, and wait for the lyrics to come.

I can see how people get addicted to this.

If Willie Nelson can just talk, I guess I can too.

It isn’t the ideal situation, but I can deal with it.

I would be partners with someone who could write and sing.

I have a hard time loving myself. It just doesn’t feel right to me.

People get paid good money to come up with words and names and stuff.

I guess I am a self absorbed person that hates himself.

I wish I had more upper body strength,

I wish I could run,

I wish I wasn’t so fat,

I would like to be a more virile person.

Just a good airman, you know?

I guess I need to learn to just accept myself.

I feel like I am some boogeyman that she created.

Thank you for welcoming me to Hip Hop.

The way I remember it, I said if people were going to argue about it, I wasn’t going to play.

Mom said that never happened.

They did buy me a keyboard when I was 21,

But like I said I played it for years and got nowhere.

It is strange that this has occurred after they both have passed,

But I am not angry at them or blame them.

It just happened that way.

I don’t get lyrics every day. It is probably going to be a rare thing.

Some people wrap themselves up in the rules. It makes them comfortable.

Some people don’t care if they are a good airman or not.

A lot of people would be like, “put a bullet in my head”

I need to be prepared.  This might be a one time thing.

I believe in ufo’s.  But I think we are smart enough to make transistors, and fiber optics.

I am playing patience.

I heard the negative first.

He watches what you do, and he will do what you show him to do.

If you play free cell, and freely undo stuff, that is what he is going to do.

I am not sure what yzax is telling him to do.  Maybe he is telling me something.

Maybe it helps me find a frequency.

I don’t like it when people use the word energy or frequency that way,

But I can’t think of a better word.

It is hard to have your own connection, there is so much noise.

It is difficult for me to pull something out of a dream. I haven’t honed the skill.

It is a shame I don’t write and sing, some of these could be good songs.

Are things going to move to this?

I don’t really like Whether Or Not, watch that be the one everyone likes.

I was deciding whether or not I was going to use live loops,

And what genre I was going to do.

That “I’m weird” stuff was in the loop like that.

Do they get musicians to sit down and make these loops?

I don’t have a lot of control over what the final product is, but it sounds okay.

I had heard that “I’m weird” before, and I wanted to make it longer,

but I couldn’t get it to work, thankfully I ran across it again.

I was spending 10 or 15 hours a week in GarageBand,

You are going to discover stuff.

It is my TikTok.

I have to pace myself, or I would spend all day in it.

I hope they ain’t just sending me on an ego trip.

Back when I started this, it was called spam.

Now, on twitter, a lot of people do it.

I think things may become more or less surreal,

As we pass through the galactic plane.

I think people follow me, and get ideas, and make millions.

There might be seasons where we feel the “heat” of the Big Bang, like summer and fall.

It is just an idea, I don’t know how or why.

We might think it is an individual, but they are just the dust things crystallized around.

My nephew has millions of views over at TikTok, and it hasn’t affected him much.

I wonder how they make Apple loops, do they get musicians in a studio?

Can time collapse the way photons do?

You can seed a cloud and make it rain.

I guess this writing and singing stuff, I just going to have to do it myself, I am doing everything else.

I been there for over 20 years.  Why should I go somewhere else now?  It isn’t going to change my life anyway.

I started with GarageBand in 2018, so four years of continuous use.  That is about right.

Being on soundclick since 2001 seems like a long time, but there was like 10 years where I didn’t post anything.

I didn’t have no time for myself.  Jasmine was over here constantly. Bless her soul.

It may crystallize around an individual, but it is something that was going to happen anyway.

One time, many years ago,  I went on a road trip by myself, and I remember stopping at Wendy’s.

When she was around, it was nice having someone to go to Wendy’s with.

We did a lot of road trips together,  that was our thing.

I am going to continue to call things loose and organic, because they don’t have a professional feel.

Maybe sophomoric, and amateurish, but those sound bad and negative.

When you are playing free cell, and undoing freely, it is easy to think they are all solvable.

When you run into one that isn’t solvable, it is going to be a disaster.

Even if it is just extremely difficult, it might be a disaster.

I am happy with the audience I have.  I can deal with this.

A million streams don’t make you a millionaire. All it does is send you on an ego trip.

Seventh Guest was looking for insane people I guess.

How you play the game is what you are telling your subconscious to do.

I understood it was a computer.  I understood it could be programmed to give me a different result.

Did you know “funk” means “radio” in German?

If I can’t understand myself, I leave it that way,  it adds to the art of it.

Some have been around since December.  I wasn’t happy with them, so I waited.

I remember Chuck delivered meds that day,  I hadn’t even seen him in months.

Now the lyrics are loose and organic.

Don’t be surprised if tomorrow is a day.

I don’t know why Brannon is going to testify, if he is being charged anyway.

People hear what they hear.  That is part and parcel.

The lyrics get stepped on by the music, and people hear words you didn’t write.

People ain’t going to understand what I say anyway.

They may listen to it over and over to hear what I am saying.

People hear stuff when I don’t say anything.

Just some lyrics I had lying around. I don’t have anymore, and I don’t get them everyday.

I understand why actors practice their diction.

My voice is messed up from not using it.

I am going to listen to hip hop more. I call it hip hop because of the loops I am using.

I had to decide what kind of music I was going to make, and I really don’t care for electronica.

You don’t necessarily make what you listen to.

It wouldn’t be the first time I sunk myself.

I am not spending hundreds of dollars to go on an ego trip.

If you count the price of the internet, maybe I already am.

My quality may have improved, but a lot of people are doing it, and it’s not crazy wonderful.

It ain’t Jay-Z or Kanye West.

I am watching my email.

I have The Chronic on vinyl. I have recently acquired some Bohannon. I like listening to Funk on Amazon music.

That is a great value that Amazon music.

Who the heck would have WWG1WGA tattooed on their back.  That person has definitely had too much lead.

My lyrics are gibberish, they don’t make sense, and people don’t understand me.

I like soundclick.  I am going to stay there for now.  But I wish there were more regular people over there.

If I could bring people there, it would be good for everyone.

I am literally the old white guy that has been in the neighborhood for decades

I need to be grateful that I have exposure that other people don’t have.

I have an acquaintance that thinks he wrote all the Beatles.

You see? It isn’t supposed to change to begin with.

If John says it has to be free, I guess it has to be free.  I guess I vowed poverty somewhere along the line.

No one will have any idea this ever happened. Someone needs to be convinced to let go of it.

I just keep going, and I feel there is nothing I can do about it.

Listening to my own music is becoming part of the creative process.

Maybe in the future I will do one side with and the other without,

Like the Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer album. I love that album.  Sometimes I will play it in July.

I guess I will have to make my own videos too.

Sometimes you can get absorbed in stuff, and think it is a lot better.

He knows I won’t let him say some shit, so he sneaks words in there that sound like what he wants to say.

I think it is about oral sex, and not getting love from the music.

As I listen to it I hear different stuff, some of which I never would have said.

I heard, “she asked me once, she called me an asshole.”

I am a horrible, miserable, white guy.

It’s about making a clear break from the past, and how difficult it is.

If YouTube says I got 5 views, I guess that’s what I got.  It doesn’t seem that way.

You should always strive to create as opposed to just making something.

It is new to me and I ain’t copying nobody.

I am in this situation where I have to do everything, I don’t know how it got this way.

I probably have more people that can’t stand me, than I do followers or fans.

I could make seriously good shit and it wouldn’t get nowhere.

Considering I am doing it all myself on a glorified phone device.

I didn’t imagine computers would be handheld and merge with television and telephones.

I guess I come across as an arrogant self absorbed asshole.

I am thinking about the next person.  I want people to think twice.

I would do more promotion, but I am worried they are just sending me on an ego trip.

Part of it is just letting it happen, just being yourself.

Money is grand, but it can send you on an ego trip, and if you don’t fear God, you can get in trouble.

You may find a comfortable place in purgatory, but it won’t last.

Do they have to pay Steve Bannon every time they show that mug?

There were dragonflies everywhere today.

The situation is hellish but you ain’t burning in hell forever.

I think we are going to get a reprieve from this heat. But if we don’t do nothing it is going to come back and stay.