Average Inner Blog

I am a jerk and a screwup I have the wrong attitude about it. It is more than just an effect. There is real magic in the bottleneck. As a mathematical term, it means having your own base. I know it is sacrilegious, but I think atheists and agnostics need to understand that. She is too much for me. I can't handle that much. She delights in driving me crazy. I am crazy enough. I don't need any help being crazy. You were a siren the whole friggen time. Is that the way you want to be remembered? It was already there. It was intentionally left undone. I am never saying goodbye again. Going to Florida is a sad memory for me. I wish we could go to Disneyworld. It has consumed my whole life. I would of rather died on the beaches of Normandy, or Vietnam. You get a good view of that from the psych ward. If you want to break tradition, If you want to go in a new direction, It is really hard. I have been on this path for a long time, and it is not as easy as it looks. You don't know ho...

Name the shit and move on. That is my motto. It is all in what you are going after it is both saturation. Going after the April Fool's Day thing, is going after saturation. They are the same thing. The universe doesn't care if someone came up with it first. You get what you are asking for. You want it, but you can't have it. It is over. It is done. There is no undoing it. Blame Freud. From their perspective, I changed history, and they are not happy about it. I went after saturation and got an information burn. That is all there is to it. There is nothing I can do about it. If I didn't care, why would I say anything? Old worlds have massive hangups about this shit. We need old growth. The Universe is dying. It is just bravado, just ignore it. Cause Freud is a fucking idiot. He shouldn't have said that shit. This is what the word prove does to people, and he knew it. I have no love loss for him. They thought at some point we would nail down everything, and start over...

Somebody needs to do something. Writing is going to die. Reading the Bible qualifies you as well read these days. I molded the darn thing. You are supposed to keep 12 and throw 12 away. Nobody can tell you how to do it. It doesn't work if you know what you are doing. I don't know if doing it wrong qualifies you as having your own base. I wouldn't mind, but that would mean one of us would have to leave. I feel sure he wouldn't want to treat me as an adversary, but I understand why he might need to. I know miracles happen. I don't have to be convinced about it. I am not just a Hitler who cant paint portraits, there was a reason things ended up this way. It is amazing I produced anything with that attitude. They make lemons. We make lemonade. It has been like that for years. Strawberries are rocking the boat. They knew this was coming. I guess an OK computer just doesn't add up. It is a little too tricular. I enjoy gadgets just like everyone else, but sometimes you...

I understand downtime. It is a powerful motivator. There are scores out there who would like to sleep like I do. I just lay there for days and I love it. Especially when I wake up and someone has given me a hug. I do appreciate. Thank you. I apologize if it is turning out the same old same old. What can I say? He doesn't like being turned down. That is the worst thing you can do. I don't know. It is all a big nightmare to me. I got caught up in the brinkmanship. Somebody did get hurt, and his name is David Mallory. If my clock runs slower than yours, in a given amount of time, am I in a separate universe? Is there a limit to how many minutes behind you can be? This math shit is real, and it is happening to me. I am not saying that there is not delusional aspects of my personality, but this shit is not delusional, this shit is real. You can't do the April Fools Day thing and read. You have to do it without reading anything, or at least not a lot. I don't know. I just wan...

tell me to shut up already People need truth. Mother Nature doesn't listen. Father Time doesn't care. I am trying to get a rouse out of her. I didn't read it cause it was Mad Dog 20/20, I found the real thing. I know what it is like to live in the vacuum of lies. You made me feel good about myself. You made me feel happy. I wish someone would give me anesthesia three times a day. It would shake the foundation of the world we think we live in. You need to take the offensive fast and early, or they are going to milk you to death, and leave you with a dead cow. These nations don't care about us. We are just a roadside attraction to them. A holiday camp. This is a commie loving pinko fag telling you this. I hate to say it, but I think Japan is the only one that truly cares about us. It is the damn inside outside shit. I don't know why they insist on doing that shit. It is just another way to divvy us up. Like I said, I have been in wards where we don't even exist. O...

They play cruel jokes on each other. They call it lulls. We cant be trusted with the power of creation, until we start treating each other right. If we would do that to the son of God, what would we do to each other? If you won't hear it from Jesus, who will you hear it from? It is right there for you to read it. I know, I didn't want to read it either. If he was willing to go to the cross for you, you should listen to him. He knew what was going to happen, and he didn't back down. He did it anyway. He did it for you. Would you rather hear it from Muhammad or Buddha? Who do you want to hear it from? I know you have problems with it. I am asking you if you would rather hear it from someone else. Even Satan would choose Jesus over those other two. Face it If you don't accept Jesus, you are stupid. Jesus didn't do it for the lulls. Who would you trust with your eternal soul? This is a commie loving pinko fag telling you this. I am telling it like it is. I am not going ...

I could get to like Bollywood. I wouldn't mind being superimposed. Like I said they friggen left me here. "Left alone and taught to fight..." yeah yeah yeah we know. Well I gave myself one, let's see if anyone else does. Don't worry, I am not going to track you down and stalk you. Thank you that makes me feel better, now lets see if I can go to work, having been up all night. I tried not to be a stalker. I really did. Something about Suzanne Vega made me go mommy. I realized I was loosing it sweetheart. I guess it just happened at the wrong time. Something about America, makes us extol all the wrong virtues. I guess this could be an astronoy coffee house. It is called Average Inner Blog, because I developed the phrase Average Inner Thought using reverse speech. I am like John Lennon. I can come up with clear phrases. It is the only demonstrable paranormal phenomenon, but I don't recommend fooling around with it. Just because it doesn't stand up to scientif...

it is the 97 shit that is completely unavailable. You have to bust the averages. The whole thing goes haywire. I still have some of the stuff in my journals. I think Ultraprophylactic is lost. I stopped keeping a journal. I felt it was a little narcissistic. It was about a bet Sigmund Freud made with C. S. Lewis. It is a shame it is lost. No one is ever going to believe such a thing was ever written. I devoted my whole life to it, and now it is lost. Sigmund Freud said if God existed when he died he would come back on April 1st and rewrite all the great poets having never read them. Me and Mr. Harris got in an argument about it, and that started this whole thing. They know it means God exists. They are friggen turkeys. Of course it can't be done, but somebody tried it. That is the whole point. That is the brinkmanship that is going to keep on going till someone gets hurt. It does not matter if you are right or wrong. They are still tasked to treat you. They have to diagnose you wit...

Like I said, it is better than reading Sitchin. I should have burnt that shit. How many are reading their Bibles because of me? That is the most important part. Like that lady said, "The best Bible is a read Bible." Read the one you have been led to. You will know which one it is. I guess I am the bag lady of the internet. She wants you to think I am a stalker and a control freak, and I am not. We ran into each other a few times, but that does not count. I am free to go to a concert or a record store. She probably knows more about where I am, and what I am doing, than I know about her. If I really knew how to make money, would I drop everything and go to California? Probably not. It is just a step to the right, and a jump to the left left left left left. Its a dance you do in a black hole. People thought I was crazy when I talked about digital radio and on demand movies. I wanted to be online as soon as I knew what Compuserve was. I had a modem back in 87. I got it out of Com...

That is right. I am unlucky, unworthy, and unholy. If you can't read the whole thing, just read John. If it can save me, it can save anybody. It is not the question of whether it is John the disciple or not. You have a book written by him. It is a superlative. It is not needed. I don't know on who's authority I am saying this. I think I have a spirit that does this type of thing. I was caught in the conflict long before I realized what it was, that is why. It is a silent conflict that has been going on for centuries, and it needs to be put to rest, before this happens to somebody else. I know you don't like this version of events, but that is the way it is. Deal with it. Put it to rest before this happens to somebody else. I was caught in the conflict long before I realized what the conflict was people. I couldn't be more innocent than that. I don't want this to happen to anybody else. Normally this wouldn't happen. Normally I would be in a catatonic fugue l...

"I have judged this man harshly" was the last thing I heard. I haven't heard anything since. I don't think he thought I was still there. I think he thought I was JJ. I said some horrible things back in 97 that are not here for people to evaluate I know apologizes are not enough and I take full responsibility for what I said I am sorry if it is not supposed to do that, that is what it is doing. Every article I ever read on the shit, says it is as subtle as a horse tranquilizer. I am here to get well. I am not here to satisfy your curiosity. You would not question a heart patient, or a cancer patient, if they complained about common side effects. There is no freedom. Where is freedom in America? Try to speak your mind, and they use word verification on your ass. When it comes to the Constitution, we either mean it or we don't. I guess "see ya" does not count. Thank God he died. I do not know what would have happened. How can you get involved like that, a...

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That is what I have been trying to tell him. There are people down there. I am the only one who ever goes down there. They think I am the only one that cares about them. When things go south you go south. I go south. I consider it my job to go as far south as I can go. I don't care if you don't care about them, I care about them. Ok they need to rock out. I won't worry about them anymore. That happened to me several years ago. I thought you knew. That happened back in 97. I started wondering if it didn't happen or did I just not remember it. I take what people give me, and turn it into weapons to vent my hostility. In the wrong hands these atypicals are like weapons grade plutonium. I guess schizophrenics are people who insist they remember everything. When the doctor said I had quadrophrenia I thought he knew I thought syphilis was an imaginary disease. I came about that by thinking I might not remember everything. I tried to claim the blog was just mine, indicating He...

What motivates me? I must really think I am somebody to get into this kind of trouble. If every decision splits into a parallel universe, What happens to the Sun? What happens in Andromeda? These are serious questions. Anything that can happen has already happened, and you really have to bust the odds for shit like that to happen. It is like rouge waves, It is real, It happens. There is a difference between what can take place, what will take place, and what must take place. It is a power that makes hydrogen bombs look like tinker toys. Quit on a holiday. Years later it will be easier to remember what day you quit. I don't like this new doctor. This medicine lights me up like a Christmas tree, and she is in complete denial about it. Why is it automatically my fault? She is the friggen doctor. You want me off my damn meds? God forbid something happen and I can't get my clozaril. You will see what it is like without them. you wont mistake me for not being on my meds anymore. If I...

I don't feel so bad. Some hobo invented the blues 100 years ago, and nobody knows who he was. I am just a little kid, digging up roots, building a bypass around a tree, I don't know what I am doing. This is beyond cause. I have turned the other check several times. This shit needs to stop. This shit could be settled right now. Whatever transpires now is beyond cause. It means you are shoving somebody who is out of bounds. I was stupid to think hangups would amount to anything. She is too guarded. I wanted her to open up. Word verification caused time reversal and I had a natural reaction to it. Mathematical activity calms the sun down? Uncertainty is good for the sun? She deserves more. I wish I could give it to her. Ronnie really messed her up. She has probably been through hell just being my sister. I don't care what happens to me. I just want average people to not have to deal with this shit. I just don't want other people to go through what I went through. Satan is ...

I felt encouraged to make something, and nothing ever came of it. It is all upside down and backwards. I couldn't have Blue Lagoon with a woman, so I had Blue Lagoon with my music. I don't think anyone understands that shit. I know it is crazy. I know you can't live that way. It is my driving compulsion. I want things first hand, or as if as I can get. I understand the need for the scientific method, but it caused brinksmanship. It is important to know if it is a natural universe or not, I agree with you, but the only proof is what you are capable of. It was a natural reaction to time reversal. I can see where things would build to the point someone would claim to be God. Living forever is touching so many lives your life review never ends. For me, it is easier to let go of the right than the left. If you cant get both hands going, get a small keyboard and flip it over. it doesn't have to stay like that. once you get things going hopefully you can flip it back. If I wan...

You need to chase lemons. You need to tie knots. You need to bust the game. That shit belongs on the other side of the river. You got to cross the bridge before you get into that shit. I wouldn't say I was blameless, but the codec is the main thing that happened to her. Why do I worry about the real world? Nobody else does. In fact they seem to be in a head long rush to do away with it. They just say mine is different from everyone else's. They say I steal worlds and stitch them to the bang. It is like setting your watch. Isn't that what you are supposed to do? If it is to be mastered, they will master it. They will go on and off bang at will. I am trying to explain it to you. It is a natural reaction to time reversal. You gotta make sure time is going in the right direction. It is called "off the bang" because the arrow of history doesn't point to the bang. When it does point to the bang it is called "on the bang" The alternate realities should alre...

If I was doing my best and working for one dollar, and they drug me before congress, I'd tell them to go screw themselves. These are retention bonuses people. These are groups that AIG is shutting down. The only money these people are working for practically is the bonus. How else are they going to retain people in positions that are to be eliminated shortly? Market capitalism works on the job market too. I wouldn't tolerate this crap. I come out of retirement, and for the sake of my country take a job and a 1$ to do it, and now they are talking about criminal attorneys. This is why the government shouldn't run companies. People worry too much about other people's opinions. Let them get angry. Let them laugh at you. I am insensitive. All I think about is myself. They know the government is messing with me, so they are messing with the government. I think people underestimate what an IQ of 60 is capable of. My opinion? I think they let it happen to find out who our frien...

I used the same method to generate a list of prime numbers. I didn't realize I was doing such important stuff. God I probably could of got a scholarship to MIT for that. I set up flags for the basic rules then set up an array for the rest. You have my permission to do wendy's How was I supposed to know I was outdoing MIT? I was just fiddling around. I didn't know. I have no idea where that shit is now. that was in 88. Is there any doubt it is me? What am I supposed to do? please lets have a reunion I am sorry I am a fuckup Both of you have so much strength, confidence, and motivation. I am creative, but I lack those things. I guess I wanted her to take me under her wing, and take me places. I knew she was going somewhere, and I wanted to tag along. I didn't like radio. It made me nervous. I had to get away from it. I never had any radio ambition. I took the course cause they black balled me from the stage. I didn't expect the mike fright and the paranoia. I didn...

I am not a sexual predator. I don't know how to be one. I wouldn't want to be one anyway. I couldn't fill that role if I tried. Does that mean I had a bad mother? I didn't know this was a friggen mountain. I thought I was free to have it the way I wanted it. Everyone wants to make my mother out to be the antichrist. When it comes to mapping and polarization, damn right I am going to be obstructionist. You say too often I am the problem. You say this needs to be done. but its not my fault you are living with lemons. I don't care if it needed to be done or not. They were messing with me and they know it. I have been through the gauntlet. I don't have the energy to deal with this crap anymore. Y2K happened sweetheart. Us breaking up is a big deal to them. I cant stay here much longer. I am scaring the living crap out of everybody. I don't remember what I wrote. It is probably secret anyway. The effect is it calls itself, but it doesn't really do that. it fl...