Average Inner Blog

I could get to like Bollywood. I wouldn't mind being superimposed. Like I said they friggen left me here. "Left alone and taught to fight..." yeah yeah yeah we know. Well I gave myself one, let's see if anyone else does. Don't worry, I am not going to track you down and stalk you. Thank you that makes me feel better, now lets see if I can go to work, having been up all night. I tried not to be a stalker. I really did. Something about Suzanne Vega made me go mommy. I realized I was loosing it sweetheart. I guess it just happened at the wrong time. Something about America, makes us extol all the wrong virtues. I guess this could be an astronoy coffee house. It is called Average Inner Blog, because I developed the phrase Average Inner Thought using reverse speech. I am like John Lennon. I can come up with clear phrases. It is the only demonstrable paranormal phenomenon, but I don't recommend fooling around with it. Just because it doesn't stand up to scientif...

it is the 97 shit that is completely unavailable. You have to bust the averages. The whole thing goes haywire. I still have some of the stuff in my journals. I think Ultraprophylactic is lost. I stopped keeping a journal. I felt it was a little narcissistic. It was about a bet Sigmund Freud made with C. S. Lewis. It is a shame it is lost. No one is ever going to believe such a thing was ever written. I devoted my whole life to it, and now it is lost. Sigmund Freud said if God existed when he died he would come back on April 1st and rewrite all the great poets having never read them. Me and Mr. Harris got in an argument about it, and that started this whole thing. They know it means God exists. They are friggen turkeys. Of course it can't be done, but somebody tried it. That is the whole point. That is the brinkmanship that is going to keep on going till someone gets hurt. It does not matter if you are right or wrong. They are still tasked to treat you. They have to diagnose you wit...

Like I said, it is better than reading Sitchin. I should have burnt that shit. How many are reading their Bibles because of me? That is the most important part. Like that lady said, "The best Bible is a read Bible." Read the one you have been led to. You will know which one it is. I guess I am the bag lady of the internet. She wants you to think I am a stalker and a control freak, and I am not. We ran into each other a few times, but that does not count. I am free to go to a concert or a record store. She probably knows more about where I am, and what I am doing, than I know about her. If I really knew how to make money, would I drop everything and go to California? Probably not. It is just a step to the right, and a jump to the left left left left left. Its a dance you do in a black hole. People thought I was crazy when I talked about digital radio and on demand movies. I wanted to be online as soon as I knew what Compuserve was. I had a modem back in 87. I got it out of Com...

That is right. I am unlucky, unworthy, and unholy. If you can't read the whole thing, just read John. If it can save me, it can save anybody. It is not the question of whether it is John the disciple or not. You have a book written by him. It is a superlative. It is not needed. I don't know on who's authority I am saying this. I think I have a spirit that does this type of thing. I was caught in the conflict long before I realized what it was, that is why. It is a silent conflict that has been going on for centuries, and it needs to be put to rest, before this happens to somebody else. I know you don't like this version of events, but that is the way it is. Deal with it. Put it to rest before this happens to somebody else. I was caught in the conflict long before I realized what the conflict was people. I couldn't be more innocent than that. I don't want this to happen to anybody else. Normally this wouldn't happen. Normally I would be in a catatonic fugue l...

"I have judged this man harshly" was the last thing I heard. I haven't heard anything since. I don't think he thought I was still there. I think he thought I was JJ. I said some horrible things back in 97 that are not here for people to evaluate I know apologizes are not enough and I take full responsibility for what I said I am sorry if it is not supposed to do that, that is what it is doing. Every article I ever read on the shit, says it is as subtle as a horse tranquilizer. I am here to get well. I am not here to satisfy your curiosity. You would not question a heart patient, or a cancer patient, if they complained about common side effects. There is no freedom. Where is freedom in America? Try to speak your mind, and they use word verification on your ass. When it comes to the Constitution, we either mean it or we don't. I guess "see ya" does not count. Thank God he died. I do not know what would have happened. How can you get involved like that, a...

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That is what I have been trying to tell him. There are people down there. I am the only one who ever goes down there. They think I am the only one that cares about them. When things go south you go south. I go south. I consider it my job to go as far south as I can go. I don't care if you don't care about them, I care about them. Ok they need to rock out. I won't worry about them anymore. That happened to me several years ago. I thought you knew. That happened back in 97. I started wondering if it didn't happen or did I just not remember it. I take what people give me, and turn it into weapons to vent my hostility. In the wrong hands these atypicals are like weapons grade plutonium. I guess schizophrenics are people who insist they remember everything. When the doctor said I had quadrophrenia I thought he knew I thought syphilis was an imaginary disease. I came about that by thinking I might not remember everything. I tried to claim the blog was just mine, indicating He...

What motivates me? I must really think I am somebody to get into this kind of trouble. If every decision splits into a parallel universe, What happens to the Sun? What happens in Andromeda? These are serious questions. Anything that can happen has already happened, and you really have to bust the odds for shit like that to happen. It is like rouge waves, It is real, It happens. There is a difference between what can take place, what will take place, and what must take place. It is a power that makes hydrogen bombs look like tinker toys. Quit on a holiday. Years later it will be easier to remember what day you quit. I don't like this new doctor. This medicine lights me up like a Christmas tree, and she is in complete denial about it. Why is it automatically my fault? She is the friggen doctor. You want me off my damn meds? God forbid something happen and I can't get my clozaril. You will see what it is like without them. you wont mistake me for not being on my meds anymore. If I...

I don't feel so bad. Some hobo invented the blues 100 years ago, and nobody knows who he was. I am just a little kid, digging up roots, building a bypass around a tree, I don't know what I am doing. This is beyond cause. I have turned the other check several times. This shit needs to stop. This shit could be settled right now. Whatever transpires now is beyond cause. It means you are shoving somebody who is out of bounds. I was stupid to think hangups would amount to anything. She is too guarded. I wanted her to open up. Word verification caused time reversal and I had a natural reaction to it. Mathematical activity calms the sun down? Uncertainty is good for the sun? She deserves more. I wish I could give it to her. Ronnie really messed her up. She has probably been through hell just being my sister. I don't care what happens to me. I just want average people to not have to deal with this shit. I just don't want other people to go through what I went through. Satan is ...

I felt encouraged to make something, and nothing ever came of it. It is all upside down and backwards. I couldn't have Blue Lagoon with a woman, so I had Blue Lagoon with my music. I don't think anyone understands that shit. I know it is crazy. I know you can't live that way. It is my driving compulsion. I want things first hand, or as if as I can get. I understand the need for the scientific method, but it caused brinksmanship. It is important to know if it is a natural universe or not, I agree with you, but the only proof is what you are capable of. It was a natural reaction to time reversal. I can see where things would build to the point someone would claim to be God. Living forever is touching so many lives your life review never ends. For me, it is easier to let go of the right than the left. If you cant get both hands going, get a small keyboard and flip it over. it doesn't have to stay like that. once you get things going hopefully you can flip it back. If I wan...

You need to chase lemons. You need to tie knots. You need to bust the game. That shit belongs on the other side of the river. You got to cross the bridge before you get into that shit. I wouldn't say I was blameless, but the codec is the main thing that happened to her. Why do I worry about the real world? Nobody else does. In fact they seem to be in a head long rush to do away with it. They just say mine is different from everyone else's. They say I steal worlds and stitch them to the bang. It is like setting your watch. Isn't that what you are supposed to do? If it is to be mastered, they will master it. They will go on and off bang at will. I am trying to explain it to you. It is a natural reaction to time reversal. You gotta make sure time is going in the right direction. It is called "off the bang" because the arrow of history doesn't point to the bang. When it does point to the bang it is called "on the bang" The alternate realities should alre...

If I was doing my best and working for one dollar, and they drug me before congress, I'd tell them to go screw themselves. These are retention bonuses people. These are groups that AIG is shutting down. The only money these people are working for practically is the bonus. How else are they going to retain people in positions that are to be eliminated shortly? Market capitalism works on the job market too. I wouldn't tolerate this crap. I come out of retirement, and for the sake of my country take a job and a 1$ to do it, and now they are talking about criminal attorneys. This is why the government shouldn't run companies. People worry too much about other people's opinions. Let them get angry. Let them laugh at you. I am insensitive. All I think about is myself. They know the government is messing with me, so they are messing with the government. I think people underestimate what an IQ of 60 is capable of. My opinion? I think they let it happen to find out who our frien...

I used the same method to generate a list of prime numbers. I didn't realize I was doing such important stuff. God I probably could of got a scholarship to MIT for that. I set up flags for the basic rules then set up an array for the rest. You have my permission to do wendy's How was I supposed to know I was outdoing MIT? I was just fiddling around. I didn't know. I have no idea where that shit is now. that was in 88. Is there any doubt it is me? What am I supposed to do? please lets have a reunion I am sorry I am a fuckup Both of you have so much strength, confidence, and motivation. I am creative, but I lack those things. I guess I wanted her to take me under her wing, and take me places. I knew she was going somewhere, and I wanted to tag along. I didn't like radio. It made me nervous. I had to get away from it. I never had any radio ambition. I took the course cause they black balled me from the stage. I didn't expect the mike fright and the paranoia. I didn...

I am not a sexual predator. I don't know how to be one. I wouldn't want to be one anyway. I couldn't fill that role if I tried. Does that mean I had a bad mother? I didn't know this was a friggen mountain. I thought I was free to have it the way I wanted it. Everyone wants to make my mother out to be the antichrist. When it comes to mapping and polarization, damn right I am going to be obstructionist. You say too often I am the problem. You say this needs to be done. but its not my fault you are living with lemons. I don't care if it needed to be done or not. They were messing with me and they know it. I have been through the gauntlet. I don't have the energy to deal with this crap anymore. Y2K happened sweetheart. Us breaking up is a big deal to them. I cant stay here much longer. I am scaring the living crap out of everybody. I don't remember what I wrote. It is probably secret anyway. The effect is it calls itself, but it doesn't really do that. it fl...

whatever it was it started on October 1 2008 and ended February 15 2009 something happened on the 15th. I wish I could wear the uniform again. I would go to Iraq in a heartbeat. The only proof I have is what I am capable of. I don't think this is going to be resolved without conflict. Moving around in four dimensions does something. Its an actualization. I know you think there is no such thing as the real world. I know you think men that do this are angry at women. but it has moved beyond that now. The only proof I have is what I am capable of. Can brinkmanship cease for a moment? Maybe I am angry at women but that doesn't change anything. I have still done something unallowed. I praise her. She could of got me kicked out the program, but she didn't. I probably wouldn't have graduated without them. A program crashes when it does something unallowed. I am free to do all sorts of unallowed stuff. It is not just Dave's little world. Dave has done something unallowed. O...

Satan is real and the medicine is not fair play. You think some piece of paper is going to get you off the hook of civil disobedience, you are wrong. Because they think some piece of paper is going to solve it, and the problem is bigger than that. Satan does that shit. I took it upon myself to explain to people who are atheist or agnostic what God and Creation are about. God is there because game theory doesn't belong, and Creation is a world that comes out of information theory. Satan wants to make this about me, but it isn't about me. This is Grace. This was a natural reaction to time reversal. They laughed at me for wanting to be Ghandi. There is serious pressure to leave your values around here. Our generation is screwy. We came up at a time where everything was known, Where everything had been done. There was no frontier. You got laughed at if you turned the other cheek. Everybody wanted to have a good time. Nobody wanted to tackle anything more serious than presidential k...

smoke and stare at the flag smoke and stare at the president smoke and stare at aunt jemima Love your President. Wish good to him. If I could do the math, I'd be big. I am a clown. Nobody takes me serious. I know it sounds crazy, but that is how I got original developments. If she wanted me to be warm, I wish she would just knit some socks. Women can move on and forget about people. I wish I could do that. Its better. I couldn't have jumped 9 cars if I were still backward. We are not in my matrix. I use it, along with other things, to point the arrow of time. I don't like regular people. I think they are sex obsessed, materialistic, and shallow. There is so much pressure to give up what you believe in around here. You can't jump 9 cars backwards, that would be a feat. It was over when we went to Williamsburg. We were under time reversal, and everyone was dumb to it but me and Pookie. This has been the longest 6 months of my entire life. I am never going to be anything. ...

We are on the other side of two 9's. We shouldn't have to worry about anything for a while. It was an interpretation error. I thought I belonged to the order of Melchisedec . We got a little taste of heaven. I am just going to worry about the floor. That burning shit is yall's business. I am cold, and I am going to stay cold. I fall for the floor. I believe in the floor. There is another Bible here for somebody. It is the phrasing of the Good News Bible. I took it personally. I fought the voices who told me I was Jesus, but when the Bible said that I just accepted it. I don't know I can't find it. the Bible said "You are a priest of the order Melchisedec, and I am not taking no for an answer." I wasn't thrilled. I am not bragging. I didn't even know what it was. I just took it personally. You would think if you wanted to change the Bible, You would have to go back to where it was written. But God can change anyone's Bible at anytime. And Yours ...

If you are giving people trouble, sleep on the floor. If you have jumped 9 cars, you need to sleep on the floor. On the ground or as close as you can get to it. I can't talk this shit to the psychiatrist. She just totally writes this shit off. All I can tell her is I am being risky and impulsive. She doesn't understand this jumping cars business. They call it OCD. They give it no validity at all. People are slamming doors and screaming and I don't know what to do. All I can do is sleep on the floor. They don't know what to do with someone whose magic works. Weird shit happens on the sofa. They are living in worlds out of psychology, and they don't work. They are lemons. I am supposed to make a leap of faith to California. Isn't that sick? It is sad and pathetic. I am not going to California. I know where my bread is buttered. It means I am rediscovering Shinto. It is as if I were with a team of virgins reverse engineering Shinto. Wait, don't panic, be respon...

What am I Adolf Mallory? I guess I should have gone into the church. Blame psychiatry. I couldn't do this shit without the medicine. You don't know. You weren't there. In my experience it isn't a good thing. I was preyed on by dangerous spirits who get off on the shit. Don't you want me? There are nations on this earth that would give their left nut for someone like me. Is the glass half empty? Or is the glass half full? I know. It is like blaming the father for child birth. I know. You want to go through it quickly and painlessly. Wait, don't panic, be responsible, and read. This shit was set in motion in 1781 people. Eventually someone was going to end up in control who wasn't elected. The whole thing was set up that way. Blame them. It was set up to be the best Government on earth until the Kingdom of Heaven came. I am trying to be non political. but yall need a history lesson. How did Washington put it? "The best Government we could have until angel...